A lady bought a new Lexus. Cost a bundle. Two days later, she brought it back, complaining that the radio was not working.”

“Madam,” said the sales manager, “the audio system in this car is completely automatic. All you need to do is tell it what you want to listen to, and you will hear exactly that!”

She drove out, somewhat amazed and a little confused. She looked at the radio and said, “Nelson.”

The radio responded, “Ricky or Willie?”

She was astounded. If she wanted Beethoven, that’s what she got. If she wanted Nat King Cole, she got it.

She was stopped at a traffic light enjoying “On The Road Again” when the light turned green and she pulled out. Suddenly an enormous sports utility vehicle coming from the street she was crossing sped toward her, obviously not paying attention to the light. She swerved and narrowly missed a collision.

“Idiot!” she yelled and, from the radio, “Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States.”

A one dollar bill met a twenty dollar bill and said, “Hey, where’ve you been?
I haven’t seen you around here much.”
The twenty answered, “I’ve been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for awhile, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?”
The one dollar bill said, “You know, same old stuff… church, church, church.”

The best bit of comedy for a long time! 4th March 2009 PM Questions (or rather the deputy Hattie as Gordon was on a trip bamboozling the US).

According to Yahoo Article/….

In the UK: Stan Still, Helen Back, Doug Hole, Terry Bull, Tim Burr, Rose Bush, Pearl Button, Will Power, Barry Cade, Mary Christmas, Chris Cross, Teresa Green, Ray Gunn, Jo King, Sonny Day, Justin Case, Lee King and Max Power.

In the US found these: Bill Board, Anna Prentice, Annette Curtain and my personal favourite Carrie Oakey.

Additions : Hazel Nutt, Penny Black, Russell Sprout, Rosie Balls, Holly Day, Harry Balls, Jo King, Gaynor Hardon