A man comes home with his little daughter, whom he has just taken to work. The little girl asks, “I saw you in your office with your secretary. Why do you call her a doll?”
Feeling his wife’s gaze upon him, the man explains, “Well, honey, my secretary is a very hard-working girl. She types like you wouldn’t believe, she knows the computer system and is very efficient.”
“Oh,” says the little girl, “I thought it was because she closed her eyes when you lay her down on the couch”.
A boss walks up to his new secretary and asks, “Linda, do you know the difference between a Caesar Salad and a blow job?”
“No” she replies.
“Great!” he says, “Let’s have lunch”.
A man was reading the paper when an ad caught his eye: $500 Porsche! New! The man thought that it was very unusual to sell a Porsche for $500, and he thought it might be a joke, but thought it was worth a shot. So he went to the lady’s house and sure enough, she had an almost brand new Porsche.”
“Wow!” the man said. “Can I take it for a test drive?”
Unlike what he expected, the man found that the car ran perfectly and took it back to the lady’s house.
“Why are you selling me this great Porsche for only $500?”
“My husband just ran off with his secretary, and he told me I could have the house and the furniture as long as I sold his Porsche and sent him the money.”
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive”s wife stopped by his office.
When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.
Without hesitating, he dictated, “…and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.”
There was a successful doctor who had an office in a small midwestern town. He decided that he wasn’t happy with his life and needed a change, so he went and got himself a sex change operation.
A couple of weeks later he returned to his practice. His secretary wondered why it took him so long to return. ‘Well, it hurt alot more than I thought it would.’
Then she asked him, ‘What part hurt the most? Was it when they cut off your penis or when they pumped you full of air to make your breasts that big?’
He said ‘Well, that hurt, but not bad enough to keep me at home for so long. What hurt the most was when they drilled a hole in my head and pumped out half of my brains!’