A female reporter was doing a documentry on American Indians, when the question arose “Why they had so many feathers in their headdress?”
Reporter (asking one brave) “Why do you have one feather in your headdress?”
Brave: “Me have one squaw.”
The reporter figures that this did not have everything to do with it.
Reporter: (to another brave) “Why do you have four feathers in your headdress?”
Brave: “Me have four squaws.”
Report says to herself “I KNOW that can’t have everything to do with it”. So she goes to Big Chief.
Reporter: “Big Chief, Why do you have so many feathers in your headdress?”
Big Chief: “Me Big Chief, me fuck em all, fat, skinny, tall. Me Big Chief, me fuck em all.
Reporter: “You should be hung!”
Big Chief: “Me is hung like the buffalo.”
Reporter: “Why so hostile?”
Big Chief: “Hostile, doggy style, kitty style me Big Chief me fuck em all!”
Reporter: “Oh Dear!”
Big Chief: “No deer, asshole too tight, runs too fast!!”

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The world’s greatest charade player brags that he can guess any charade. A TV producer decides to use the charade player in a TV special. He issues a challenge offering the charade player a million dollars to guess a very hard charade on television. The Charade player agrees.
Comes the big night, all the world is watching. The charade player is sitting on stage in front of a curtain. Music blares and the curtain opens to reveal seven nude young women.
The first, third and fifth ladies are holding their breasts, while the other five have their backs to him and are baring their behinds.
The charade player barely glances over them and says, “The William Tell Overture by Rossini.”
The flabbergasted producer says in awe, “You’ve done it! That’s the right answer. You are indeed the greatest charade player!” and hands him a check for a million bucks.
Walking out, a reporter stops the charade player and ask him how he did it.
“It’s really simple,” says the charade player. “One look at the positions of the eight women, and I realized it as the William Tell Overture.”
“Titty…rump… titty… rump… titty… rump… rump…rump.”

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A woman telephoned her local newspaper to let them know that she had just given birth to eighteen children. The reporter didn’t quite hear the message and said, “Would you repeat that?” “Not if I can help it,” replied the woman.

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This is a funny, but true story about Neil Armstrong:
When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous “One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind” statement but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control.
Just before he re-entered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark “Good luck Mr. Gorsky.”
Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs. Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the “Good luck Mr. Gorsky” statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.
Just a few years ago, (on July 5, 1995 in Tampa Bay FL) while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26 year old question to Armstrong.
This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had finally died and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question.
When he was a kid, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit a fly ball which landed in the front of his neighbor’s bedroom windows. His neighbors were Mr. & Mrs.Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky. “Oral sex! You want oral sex?! You’ll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!”
NOTE: This is a confirmed true story.

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Two boys are playing football in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips a board off of a nearby fence, wedges it down the dog’s collar and twists, breaking the dog’s neck.

A reporter strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. “Young Giants Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal,” he writes in his notebook.

“But I’m not a Giants fan,” the little hero replies.

“Sorry, since we are in New York, I just assumed you were,” says the reporter.

“Little Jets Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack,” he writes in his notebook.

“I’m not a Jets fan either,” the boy says.

“I assumed everyone in New York was either for the Giants or Jets. What team do you root for?” the reporter asks.

“I’m a Cowboys fan,” the child says.

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, “Little Redneck Maniac Kills Beloved Family Pet”.

Sports | Email to a friend | 155 views