John and his friend George go golfing together one Saturday morning, as they have done for 24 years straight. Yes, you might say these guys were fanatics about their golfing.
Later that day, John returns home exhausted, and plops down in the easy chair. His wife is concerned and asks if something went wrong with his game.
“No, no,” he replied, “I had the best game I had in years! As a matter of fact, I started out the first three holes at 4 under par, including a hole-in-two on the 3rd.”
“So why are you so beat?” his wife asked.
“Well, George had a heart attack and died on the 4th hole,” he said.
“What?!? And you’re so exhausted from trying to save him, huh?”
“No, It was very quick and there was nothing anyone could’ve done. But after that, it was just hit the ball, drag George, hit the ball, drag George…”

Sports | Email to a friend | 123 views

Two guys meet in heaven, and are chatting about how they died. The first guy says he froze to death, and the second guy says he died of a heart attack.

How did that happen? asks the first guy.

Well, I came home and thought I heard my wife and another man. But when I went inside, I searched and searched for her, but couldn’t find anybody. I was stricken with such remorse for accusing my wife of infidelity that I had a heart attack on the spot.

Geez, says the first guy. “If you’d've opened the fridge, we’d both be alive right now.”

Misc | Email to a friend | 229 views

A guy comes home early one day from work. And he hears weird sounds coming from his bedroom. When he gets to his room, he finds his wife naked on the bed sweating bullets. “What the hell is going on?” he says. “I’m having a heart attack!!”.
So he runs down stairs, and picks up the phone to dial 911. But as he is doing this, his four-year-old son, comes running up to him and says, “Dad, Uncle Tommy is up stairs, hiding in your closet, and he’s naked”
So he slams the phone down, and runs upstairs, to find his own brother, in the closet. The man, then says. “What the hell are you doin? My wife is having a heart attack, and your here running around naked, scaring the kids? You shoud be ashamed of yourself!”

Men & Women | Email to a friend | 307 views

One night, a father passed by his son’s room and heard his son praying: “God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa.”

The father didn’t quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked.

The next night, he heard his son praying again: “God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma.”

The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack.

Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son’s door the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: “God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy.”

Now the father was crapping his pants. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor’s early the next day to make sure his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, “Thank God you’re here — we could really use your help! We found milkman dead on our porch this morning!”

Men & Women, Religion | Email to a friend | 358 views

A man goes golfing with his friend, Harry. He arrives home several hours late. His wife asks, “What took you so long?” He replies, “Oh, Ethel, it was an horrible afternoon! On the third hole, Harry had a heart attack and died on the spot!” Ethel says, “Oh, darling! It must have been awful for you!” The husband replies, “It was hell! Fifteen holes of ‘hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry…’”

Sports | Email to a friend | 346 views