A redneck teacher decides to give her class a small pop quiz around Halloween.

Okay, how many of you have seen a ghost? About 30% of the class puts their hand up.

Okay, how many of you have actually touched a ghost? About 10% of the class puts their hand up.

Okay, how many of you have had sex with a ghost? Dead silence, until a little redneck boy in the back row puts up his hand.

You’ve actually had sex with a ghost?

Ghost? Oh. I thought you said goat!

Redneck | Email to a friend | 382 views

Yo mama’s so stupid, she thought “Dunkin’ Donuts” was a basketball team.
Yo Mama’s so ugly, on halloween, she had to trick-or-treat over the phone!
Yo mama’s so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and came out with a job application.
Yo mama’s so ugly, the last time I saw something like her, I pinned a tail on it.
Yo’ mama’s teeth are so crooked that when she smiles it looks like her mouth is throwing up gang signs!
Yo’ mama’s teeth are so crooked, each tooth has a sign saying, ‘One mile to the next tooth.’
Yo mama’s teeth are so yellow that when she smiled at a NASCAR race, all the drivers stopped because they thought it was a caution sign.
Yo mama’s teeth gap so big, she uses a gate for braces.
Yo’ mama’s teeth so yellow, I can’t believe it’s not butter!
Yo mama’s tities smell so bad, they make onions cry
Yo Mamma’s so fat she plays hopscotch like this: Atlanta, New York, Chicago, Detroit, Los Angelos, Seattle, Las Vegas…
Yo mamma’s so retarded, she thinks “yo mama” jokes are funny.
Yo moma’s so fat, she was baptised in sea world.
Yo momma is so dumb that when the waiter brought out her strip steak, she asked where the thong was.
Yo momma is so fat that when she wore high-heels, she struck oil!
Yo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn’t pay for her liposuction!
Yo momma’s so dumb, she took an hour to make minute rice.
Yo momma’s so fat she has to polish her fingernails with a paint roller!
Yo momma’s so fat, she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out.
Yo momma’s so stupid…when your daddy said it was chilly outside, your momma went and got a bowl!

Insults | Email to a friend | 529 views

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices the very handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.

He replies: “I have a question to ask you, but I don’t want to offend you”

She answers, ” My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”

“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.”

She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that, number1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic.”

The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I’m single and Catholic!

“OK” the nun says. “Pull into the next alley.” The nun fulfils his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.

But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

“My dear child,” said the nun, why are you crying?”

“Forgive me but I have sinned. I lied and I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”

The nun says, “That’s OK. My name is Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party.”

Misc | Email to a friend | 955 views