Looking back on my career, I swear that I’m jinxed. Every institution, every business I’ve worked for has folded. The school I went to burned down shortly after I left- the first company I worked for collapsed and went bankrupt- the University I studied at was charged with massive corruption and gross professional misconduct- the school I taught at was shut down. I ran my own business- an old, historical pub which closed down and was demolished shortly after. I might have a subconscious instinct to “board a sinking ship.” Anyway, enough of that, My name is Gordon Brown, Labour party – I hope that I can count on your vote in the next election.
Q: How do you ruin a party?
A: Make Gordon Brown the leader.
Q: What’s brown and makes a mess of everything?
A: The Prime Minister.
Recession is when your neighbour loses his job.
Depression is when you lose your job.
Recovery is when Gordon Brown loses his.