There was a priest who was drowning in the ocean. He called out to God for help.
All of a sudden, a canoe came and the guy said “Father, let me help you”.
The priest replied “No, no my son. The Lord will save me.
The canoe leaves and the father calls out to God again. All of a sudden, a yacht showed up. The captain said “Father, let me help you”. The priest again replied “No my son, the Lord will save me”. The yacht leaves and the father is calling out to God again. All of a sudden, a big cruise ship showed up. The captain said with a megaphone “Father,let us help you”. The priest again replied “No my son, the Lord will save me.

The priest drowns and he’s in heaven face to face with God. He said “My Lord. I called out to you but you didn’t help me. Why?”

God replied: “I did help you. I sent you three ships”.

Religion | Email to a friend | 50 views

Manager: Twenty teams in the league and you lot finish bottom?
Captain: Well, it could have been worse.
Manager: How ?
Captain: There could have been more teams in the league!

Sports | Email to a friend | 119 views

A young, freshly minted lieutenant was sent to Bosnia as part of the peace keeping mission. During a briefing on land mines, the captain asked for questions.
Our intrepid solder raised his hand and asked, “If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?”
“Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area.”

Military | Email to a friend | 171 views

Apparently a porn version of Star Trek has been made

Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock will fulfill many Star Trek fans’ wildest fantasies when they stage a threesome with Lt. Uhura in the porn movie adaptation of the sci-fi series.

Kirk and Uhura shocked TV viewers in the 1960s when they shared the first bi-racial kiss on TV – but X-rated moviemaker Axel Braun goes far beyond the final frontier for Hustler Video’s This Ain’t Star Trek XXX movie.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/1/20090404/ten-star-trek-s-saucy-porn-spin-off-c60bd6d.html

This is sick, its blasphemous – never mind G20 protests, this needs a few protests from all Trekkies.

But it gets you thinking if they could do a Dr Who porn movie – “Plunge Me Plunge Me Hard you Dalek!”.

Entertainment | Email to a friend | 446 views

Transcript of the actual radio conversation of a us naval ship with Canadian autorities off the coast of Newfoundland:

Canadian: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert your course.

Canadians: No. I say again, you must divert your course.

Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers, and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course 15 degrees north, I say again, that’s one five degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Military | Email to a friend | 282 views