There was a priest who was drowning in the ocean. He called out to God for help.
All of a sudden, a canoe came and the guy said “Father, let me help you”.
The priest replied “No, no my son. The Lord will save me.
The canoe leaves and the father calls out to God again. All of a sudden, a yacht showed up. The captain said “Father, let me help you”. The priest again replied “No my son, the Lord will save me”. The yacht leaves and the father is calling out to God again. All of a sudden, a big cruise ship showed up. The captain said with a megaphone “Father,let us help you”. The priest again replied “No my son, the Lord will save me.

The priest drowns and he’s in heaven face to face with God. He said “My Lord. I called out to you but you didn’t help me. Why?”

God replied: “I did help you. I sent you three ships”.

Manager: Twenty teams in the league and you lot finish bottom?
Captain: Well, it could have been worse.
Manager: How ?
Captain: There could have been more teams in the league!

A young, freshly minted lieutenant was sent to Bosnia as part of the peace keeping mission. During a briefing on land mines, the captain asked for questions.
Our intrepid solder raised his hand and asked, “If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?”
“Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area.”

Apparently a porn version of Star Trek has been made

Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock will fulfill many Star Trek fans’ wildest fantasies when they stage a threesome with Lt. Uhura in the porn movie adaptation of the sci-fi series.

Kirk and Uhura shocked TV viewers in the 1960s when they shared the first bi-racial kiss on TV – but X-rated moviemaker Axel Braun goes far beyond the final frontier for Hustler Video’s This Ain’t Star Trek XXX movie.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/1/20090404/ten-star-trek-s-saucy-porn-spin-off-c60bd6d.html

This is sick, its blasphemous – never mind G20 protests, this needs a few protests from all Trekkies.

But it gets you thinking if they could do a Dr Who porn movie – “Plunge Me Plunge Me Hard you Dalek!”.