In Sunday School, they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings.

Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.

Later in the week, his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, “Johnny what is the matter?”

Little Johnny responded, “I have a pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.”

Adam was talking to his friend at the bar, and he said, “I don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday – she has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I’m stuck.”

His friend said, “I have an idea! Why don’t you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way she wants it. She’ll probably be thrilled.” Adam decided to to his friend’s advice.

The next day at the bar his friend said, “Well? Did you take my suggestion?”

Yes, I did, Adam replied.

Did she like it?

Oh yes! she jumped up , thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out the door, yelling”I’ll be back in an hour!!”

A man and his wife were sitting in church, the man was sleeping and his wife was knitting.
The priest asked “Who created the Earth and man?”
The woman poked the man with her knitting needle and the man screamed, “GOD!”
The Priest looked at him and said, “That’s right.”
Then he asked “Who is God’s son?” Once more the woman poked her husband with the needle, he woke up and screamed, “Jesus Christ!” Again, the priest said, “Correct.”
Finally, the priest asked, “What did Eve say to Adam when she didn’t want any more children?”
The knitter poked her husband again, but this time he screamed “Poke me with that thing one more time and I’m going to rip it off!”
The priest smiled and said, “That’s right.”

A doctor, an engineer, a rabbi and a lawyer were debating who was the world’s first professional.

The doctor said, “It must have been a doctor. Who else could have helped with the world’s first surgery of taking a rib from Adam to create Eve, the first woman?”

No, said the rabbi. “It must have been a rabbi, since the Lord needed someone to help preach his message to Adam and the world.”

Wait, said the engineer, “The world was created in six days from nothing. Do you know what a master engineering feat that must have been to create the whole world into an orgnanized, civilized place from utter chaos?”

Yes, but who created the chaos? asked the lawyer…