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A couple decided go to Alaska for a romantic weekend. When they got to the cabin it was cold so the wife asked her husband to go chop some wood for that fire place. He came in after 5 minutes and told his wife that his hands were cold, so she said her put your hands between my thighs to warm them.
So he did and went back outside to finish chopping wood. He came in after another 5 minutes and said “Honey my hands are cold again”. So she tells him here put your hands between my thighs to warm them.
So he did and then he went back out to chop some more wood. 5 minutes has passed and he went in again and said, “Honey my hands are cold again”.
She then said, ” Damn don’t your ears ever get cold?”
The 70-year-old man sat down in the orthopaedic surgeon’s office. “You know, Doc”, he said, “I’ve made love in more exotic cars than anyone I know. Must be at least a thousand”.
“And now, I suppose, you want me to treat you for the arthritis you got from scrunching up in all those uncomfortable positions”, the doctor said.
“Hell, no”, the old fellow replied. “I want to borrow your Lamborghini”.
Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them.
God breathes life into Adam and tells him… “You are man, my most favoured creation, because of this I am going to give you the penis, and the brain”.
Adam replies…”Thank you lord, thank you so much, thank you”.
God says back to him, “Don’t get to excited, there’s a catch”.
Adam asks, “What is the catch?”
God answers, “I’m only going to give you enough blood in your body to use one of that a time”.