One day a guy goes to his doctor and says, “Doc I have these real bad headaches. What should I do?”
The doctor replies, “Well, to get rid of my headaches I just have sex with my wife.” They both laugh.

A week later the patient returns. The doctor asks, “How are you feeling?”
The patient smiles and replies” You were right! I feel so much better. And, by the way, Doc, you have a lovely home”.

A tourist climbed out of his car in down town Washington, D.C. He said to a man standing near the curb, “Listen, I’m going to be only a couple of minutes. Would you watch my car while I run into this store?”

“What?” the man huffed. “Do you realize that I am a member of the United States Senate?”

“Well no,” the tourist said, “I didn’t realize that. But it’s all right. I’ll trust you anyway.”

A woman who plays cards one night a month with a group of friends was concerned that she always woke up her husband when she came home around 11:30.

One night she decided to try not to rouse him. She undressed in the living room and, purse over arm, tiptoed nude into the bedroom – only to find her husband sitting up in bed reading.

“Dammit woman!” he exclaimed. “Did you lose everything?”

What is it that prevents Blondes’ admission to College?
High School!