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Reporter in Armenia

Posted in News & Politics

A western reporter goes to Armenia to write articles about that land. He meets an old man in a village and asks him about any memorable events in his life. The old man says, “Well one time my donkey got lost, so me and my neighbors got some vodka and went looking for it. We looked and looked and finally found the donkey. Then we drank the vodka and one by one started screwing the donkey, it was a lot of fun”.

The reporter figured he can’t write an article about that, so he asked the old man to tell him another story. The old man said, “Well, one time my neighbour’s wife got lost, so me and all the village men got some vodka and went out looking for her. We looked and looked and finally we found her. Then we drank the vodka and one by one screwed the neighbour’s wife. It was a lot of fun”.

The reporter, feeling frustrated, told the old man that he couldn’t write articles about those stories and asked him if he had any dramatic or sad memories that he could talk about.

The old man paused a little and with a sad expression on his face said: “Well, one time I was lost……..”

Hammer Anyone?

Posted in Misc

A man is in court for murder and the judge says ‘You are charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.

Then a voice at the back of the court says, ‘you bastard.’

Then the judge continues, ‘you are also charged With beating Your daughter to death with a hammer’.

Again the voice at the back of the court says, ‘you bastard’.

The judge says, ‘now we cannot have any more of these outbursts from you or I shall charge You With contempt, now what is the problem?’

Then the man at the back of the court says, ‘fifteen years I lived next door to that bastard and every time I asked to borrow a hammer he said he never had one!’

Virgin’s Confession

Posted in Religion

A sixteen year-old virgin girl has a bad day, so she goes to visit her priest after hours in his office. Late that evening, she goes to his office for guidance and confession.

“Father, I called a man a son-of-a-bitch yesterday”.
” Why did you call him a son-of-a-bitch?” the priest asked.
” Because, Father, he touched me on my arm without permission”.
” Do you mean like this?” he asked, as he touched her arm.
” Yes, Father”.
” That’s no reason for calling him a son-of-a-bitch.”
” But, Father, he also touched my breasts.”
” Do you mean like this?” he asked, as he touched her breasts.”
” Yes, Father.”
” That’s no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch.”
” But, Father, he took off my clothes.”
” Do you mean like this?” he asked, as he removed her clothes.
” Yes, father.”
” That’s no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch.”
” But, Father, then he put his you-know-what in my you-know-where.”
” Do you mean like this?” he asked, as he put his you-know-what in her you-know-where.
” Yes, Father.”
” That’s no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch.”
” But, Father, he has herpes!”
Remarked the Father, “That son-of-a-bitch!”

Accountant Letter

Posted in Business, Men & Women

A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening that reads:

Dear Wife (that’s what he called her): I am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy 18 year old secretary.

When he arrived at the hotel there was a letter waiting for him that read as follows:

Dear Husband (that’s what she called him): I too am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with my handsome and virile 18 year old toy boy. You being an accountant will therefore appreciate that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18.