A geezer walks up to a beautiful woman in a shopping mall.

“Excuse me” he says “But I’ve lost my wife here somewhere and I can’t find her. Could you please help me?”

“What do you need me to do?” asks the woman.

“Just stand here and talk to me” the man replies.

“How’s that going to help?” she asks.

“No idea really…but every time I talk to a woman with hooters like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere!!”

Men & Women | Email to a friend | 32 views

Sports, Videos | Email to a friend | 34 views

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, “Your mom’s the best sex in town!” Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off andbellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, “I just did your mom, and it was sw-e-et!” Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far endof the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, “Your mom liked it!” Finally the guy interrupts. “Go home, Dad, you’re drunk!”

Barroom | Email to a friend | 50 views

Horn broken – watch my finger

P.E.T.A.: People Eating Tasty Animals

College grad and prowd uv it

Money talks, but mine only says goodbye.

Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.

JUST SAY “NO” TO STUPIDITY

My other car is ………also a piece of $hit

I wouldn’t laugh mister it could be your daughter in this car.

Caution: Travels at the speed limit.

Real women pick up the check

If you like Hanson, honk 3 times and run into a tree.

Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

Real men don’t ask directions

I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.

Ever had a loaded weapon pointed at you…..Keep honking.

Bad cop … no doughnuts for you.

What the hell are you looking at?

Dip me in honey and throw me to the lesbians!

I didn’t invent Sin, I’m just trying to perfect it.

Honk if you love silence.

Drive it like you stole it.

You are driving a car not a phone booth!

Go on, I’ll see you at the next traffic light!

Quit moving Buddy, cos I’m aiming

CAUTION – Driver legally Blonde!

Boldly going nowhere…

If you can read this, I’ve lost my trailer.

Misc | Email to a friend | 36 views

A blonde walking by the river came across another blonde directly across from her. The first blonde waved to the other and said “hey, how do i get to the other side”?
The other blonde answered “You’re already on the other side”.

Blondes | Email to a friend | 38 views