Definition of a born loser: a stowaway on a kamikaze plane.

Quickies | Email to a friend | 18 views

Four guys are drinking in a bar, bragging about their sons.

My son, the first one says, “started out washing cars at dealership, but now owns the dealership and just gave one of his friends four new cars of his choice!”

My son, said the second, “started out serving lunch in a real estate office, but now owns the real estate office and just gave one of his friends a new mansion!”

My son, said the third, “started out sweeping the floors at the Stock Exchange, but now practically owns the Stock Exchange and just gave one of his friends a $1,000,000 in stock.”

Well, the fourth guy said, “my son’s turned out to be a bit of a disappointment. He’s a gay hairdresser and he has SEVERAL boyfriends. On the plus side, between them, they gave him four cars, a mansion, and a million dollars in stock for his birthday.”

Barroom | Email to a friend | 27 views

A radical Muslim cleric walks into a bar. The bartender says, “What’ll it be?”

The cleric responds, “A gruesome puddle of your filthy infidel blood!”

Barroom, Quickies | Email to a friend | 29 views

Following the demise of Portsmouth FC into administration, there is some more bad news for the whole of UK…

News & Politics | Email to a friend | 22 views

A geezer walks up to a beautiful woman in a shopping mall.

“Excuse me” he says “But I’ve lost my wife here somewhere and I can’t find her. Could you please help me?”

“What do you need me to do?” asks the woman.

“Just stand here and talk to me” the man replies.

“How’s that going to help?” she asks.

“No idea really…but every time I talk to a woman with hooters like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere!!”

Men & Women | Email to a friend | 32 views