Picture Humour | Email to a friend | 491 views

News journos through out the country were in a state of shock this morning as 9 of the dead birds were found NOT to have the ‘deadly strain HN51 avian flu’. A spokesman said ‘it’s just so tragic, we are of course holding out the hope that some of the remaining dead birds will be infected but otherwise, we are sunk. What of our expense accounts and the fact that some of us may have to actually return home to our families? You just can’t rely on anything these days to give us the news stories that will keep us droning on for weeks’

I was shocked to hear that the swan had ‘died’ rather than ‘tributes had been paid’ to the swan.

It’s also reported that books of condolence are being set up in ASDA stores for people to share their feelings.

Source – BBC

News & Politics | Email to a friend | 430 views

A priest, a rabbi and a minister are in a boat out in the middle of a lake. The priest says, “I’m thirsty. I’m going to get something to drink.” So he steps out of the boat, walks across the water to shore, gets a soda, walks back across the water and gets back in the boat.

The minister says, “I’m thirsty too.” So he walks across the water to shore, gets a soda and walks back to the boat. The rabbi says, “My turn.” He gets out of the boat and immediately sinks. The priest turns to the minister. “Think we should’ve told him where the rocks were?”

Religion | Email to a friend | 323 views

A guy calls his buddy, the horse rancher, and says he’s sending a friend over to look at a horse. His buddy asks. “How will I recognize him?”

“That’s easy. He’s a midget with a speech impediment”.

So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if he’s looking for a male or female horse.

“A female horth.” So he shows him a prized filly. “Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth?” So the guy picks up the midget and he gives the horse’s eyes the once over.

“Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth?” So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse’s ears. “Nith earzth, can I see her mouf?” The rancher is gettin’ pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse’s mouth.

“Nice mouf, can I see her twat?” Totally mad as fire at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the midget’s head as far as he can up the horse’s twat, pulls him out and slams him on the ground.

The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing. “Perhapth I should rephrase that; ‘Can I thee her wun awound a Widdlebit”?

Misc | Email to a friend | 304 views

A researcher is conducting a survey into sheep shagging. First of all he visits a Cornish farmer.

“So, Cornish farmer, how do you shag your sheep?”

“Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boot and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall.”

“That’s very interesting,” replies the researcher and he leaves the Cornish farmer. Then he meets a Midlands Farmer.

“So, Midlands farmer, how do you shag your Sheep?”

“Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boots and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall.”

“That’s very interesting,” replies the researcher. “That’s how they do it in Cornwall too.” And he leaves the Midlands farmer. Then he meets a farmer from Abergaveny.

“So, Abergaveny farmer, how do you shag your Sheep?” “Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boots and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over my shoulders.”

“Over your shoulders?” replies the researcher. “Don’t you put them over a wall like everyone else?”

“What?” says the farmer. “And miss out on all the kissing?!”

Misc, Sexuality | Email to a friend | 399 views