A young man goes out and buys the best car on the market, a brand new Ferrari GTO. It is also the most expensive car in the world, and it costs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light.

An old man on a Mo-ped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to him. The old man looks over at the sleek, shiny car and asks, “What kind of car ya’ got there sonny?”

The young man replies, “A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars”

That’s a lot of money, says the old man. “Why does it cost so much?”

Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour! states the young man proudly.

The old man asks, “Mind if I take a look inside?”

No problem, replies the owner. So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around.

Then, sitting back on his Mo-ped, the old man says, “That’s a pretty nice car, all right, but I’ll stick with my Mo-ped!”

Just then the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds, the speedometer reads 160 mph. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be. Suddenly something whips by him going much faster!

What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari? the young man asks himself. He floors the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 250 mph. Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it’s the old man on the Mo-ped! Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the moped at 275 mph. He’s feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him AGAIN!

Astounded by the speed of this old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 320 mph. Not ten seconds later, he sees the Mo-ped bearing down on him again! The Ferrari is flat out, and there’s nothing he can do.

Suddenly, the Mo-ped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end. The young man stops and jumps out and to see, unbelievably the old man is still alive. He runs up to the mangled old man and says, “Oh My God! Is there anything I can do for you?”

The old man whispers, “Unhook…my…suspenders…from…your…side-view…mirror”.

Misc | Email to a friend | 16 views

http://theuklibertarian.com/2010/01/28/gordon-brown-is-a-fucking-idiot-or-how-i-learned-to-stop-worrying-and-love-indefnite-killing-and-war/

News & Politics | Email to a friend | 24 views

I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always!

Quickies | Email to a friend | 10 views

Bob was joining the army and they were handing out rifles when he arrived, so he got in line. When it got to Bob, they had run out of guns. The man issuing rifles gave him a broom

“This is a magic broom — point it at anybody, say ‘Bangity bangity bang,’ and they will die.” Bob was really worried because he didn’t think it would work, but he got in line for bayonets, thinking he might stand a chance if he could stab them to death. As luck would have it, Bob’s turn came and they had ran out.

“Don’t worry.” said the man issuing them out. “I will give you this magic carrot — point it at somebody, say ‘Stabbity stabbity stab,’ and they will die.”

Now Bob is terrified, going into battle with a broom and carrot, when the sirens go off, signaling invasion. Bob goes out, only to be laughed at by the enemy. One enemy even comes up to him, hoping to get a good shot at him. Well, Bob didn’t have anything to lose so he pointed at him and said “Bangity bangity bang!” and the guy fell down dead. He did the same thing with the magic carrot. Amazed at what was happening, he continued to fight. Then, a guy came slowly up to him and he would not die. Bob tried to shoot and stab him, but he wouldn’t die. The last words poor Bob heard as he was being trampled over were “Tankity tankity tank.”

Military | Email to a friend | 20 views

A man walked in to his local butcher to find his regular butcher, John absent so he asks the manager, “Where’s John?” The manager tells the man that John was fired because he was found sticking his dick in the meat slicer”. Then the man asked, “Where is the meat slicer now?” The butcher then replied, “I fired her too.”

Food & Restaurant | Email to a friend | 17 views