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What did the skeleton say before it ate?
What did the rug say to the floor?
I’ve got you covered?
What did the nut say to the bolt?
What did the mother vampire say to her daughter when she picked up a tampon?
Honey, no in-between meal snacks!
What did the horse say when he fell?
“I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up!”
What did the hat say to the tie?
You hang around here…I’ll go on a head.
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign for the YMCA?
Look, they spelled Macy’s wrong!
What did the blonde say to the rock n’ roller?
“How awesome is Britney Spears?!!!”
What did the blonde call her pet zebra?
What did the bird say after his cage broke?
What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean?
Nothing, they just waved.
What did one candle say to the other candle?
Want to go out tonight?
What did Mr. Spock find in the toilet?
The Captain’s log!
What did King Tut say when he got scared?
I want my mummy!
What did Cinderella say when she left the photo store?
Someday my prints will come…
What did Bill Gates’ wife say to him on their wedding night?
“Now I know why you named your company Microsoft!”
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
“It’s nice, but can it pick up peanuts?”
It’s the first day of kindergarten, and the teacher decides to do taste association.
”I’ll blindfold you and give you a lifesaver, and you tell me what flavor it is,” she tells the children.
So she gives them all a cherry flavor, and says, ”What flavor is that?”
The whole class answers, ”Mmmm, that’s cherry.”
”Very good,” the teacher replies.
So she gives them all a grape and they reply, ”Mmm, that’s grape.”
”Very good,” she says again.
Then she gives them all a honey flavor. The whole class sits perplexed by the strange taste, so the teacher says, ”OK, I’ll give you a hint, it’s something your parents might call each other.”
Little Johnny spits his out on the floor and yells, ”Spit ’em out everyone, they’re ASSHOLES!”