Did you hear about the cannibal who came home late for dinner?
His wife gave him the cold shoulder!

Did you hear about the 80-pound guy with the 40-pound testicles?
People say he was half-nuts!

Did you hear about the blonde who died drinking milk?
The cow fell on her.

Did you hear about the 25 Irish people that drowned?
They were riverdancing.

Did you hear about Dolly Parton passing out on stage?
It took four guys to carry her off — two abreast.

Did you hear that nursing homes are starting to give Viagra to the old men living there?
It’s to keep them from rolling out of bed.

Did you hear that Bill Gates bought the world-wide rights to Viagra?
He’s renaming it MICROHARD.

Did you hear about the X-rated murder mystery?
In the end, everybody did it!

Did you hear about the two gay Irishmen?
Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald.