- Any More Complaints?
The controller working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a 360 (do a complete circle, usually done to provide spacing between aircraft).
The pilot of the 727 complained, “Do you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make a 360 in this airplane?”
Without missing a beat the controller replied, “Roger, give me four thousand dollars worth.”
- What the…?!
PSA was following United, taxiing out for departure. PSA called the tower and said “Tower, this is United 586. We’ve got a little problem; go ahead and let PSA go first.” The tower promptly cleared PSA for takeoff before United had a chance to object to the impersonation.
- Which Exit Did You Say That Was?
A DC-10 had an exceedingly long landing roll out after landing with his approach speed just a little too high.
San Jose Tower: “American 751 Heavy, turn right at the end if able. If not able, take the Guadalupe exit off of Highway 101 back to the airport.”
- Mmmm-mmm, Good!
Tower: “Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7.”
Eastern 702: “Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure…by the way, as we lifted off, we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway.”
Tower: “Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7…did you copy the report from Eastern?”
Continental 635: “Continental 635, cleared for takeoff…and yes, we copied Eastern and we’ve already notified our caterers.”
- No, That’s not what I Said!
O’Hare Approach Control: “United 329, traffic is a Fokker, one o’clock, 3 miles, eastbound.”
United 329: “Approach, I’ve always wanted to say this… I’ve got that Fokker in sight.”
