Well you need to know understand some Punjabi words to get the pun in these ones. Never mind eh, you can nag your Indian work mate to explain all these.
Q: What did the lonely banana say?
A: I’m a”kela”.
Q: What did the green peas say?
A: Nothing. They just “mutter”ed.
Q: What did the potato say when it answered the phone ?
A: “Aaloo?”
Q: Where do cauliflowers hang out?
A: In the Gobi desert.
Q: What did the flower say to its girl-friend?
A: Why do phools fall in love?
Q: What did the fat car say?
A: I’m a mota car.
Q: What did the confused egg say?
A: I don’t unda-stand.
Q: Where do earrings go on holiday?
A: Bali
Q: What do shrimps sing on Christmas?
A: Jhinga Bells.
Q: What did the half eaten naan say?
A: I wish I was puri.
Q: What did the lonely potato sing?
A: “Aaloo lonesome tonight?”
Q: What language do carrots speak?
A: Gajar-ati.
Q: What do you call a bald poet?
A: Ik-bal.
Dis da funkiest…
Q: What did the first pizza slice say to the other pizza slice so it would move?
A: Pizza - “HUT”
This morning as I was buttoning my shirt, a button fell off. After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off. Then I went to open the door, and the doorknob fell off. I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in my hand. Now I’m afraid to pee.
John and Bob were inseparable childhood friends . One night, they both died in a terrible car accident. When John woke up in heaven, he began to search for Bob but could not find him anywhere. Very distraught, he ran to St.Peter and said, “St.Peter, I know Bob was killed in that accident with me, but I can’t find him!” St. Peter said, “My son, I am sorry to tell you Bob didn”t make it to Heaven.” This upset John so much that St. Peter agreed to let him see Bob one more time. St. Peter parted the clouds and John saw Bob sitting in hell with a keg on one side and a beautiful buxom blonde on the other. John looked at St. Peter skeptically and said, “Are you sure I’m in the right place?”
My son, St. Peter said, “looks can be deceiving. You see that keg of beer? It has a hole in it. You see that woman? She doesn’t!”
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director, “What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?”
“Well,” said the Director, “we fill up a bathtub, we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask the patient to empty the bathtub.”
1. Would you use the spoon?
2. Would you use the teacup?
3. Would you use the bucket?
“Oh, I understand,” said the visitor. “A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup.” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
“Noooooo,” answered the Director. “A normal person would pull the plug.”
A thief in Paris almost got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre, but was
captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.
When asked how he could mastermind such a bold crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied: “Monsieur, I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.”
Oh boy, and you thought I lacked DeGaulle to tell you a story like that!.
