One night, the Potato family sat down to dinner–Mother Potato and her three daughters. Midway through the meal, the eldest daughter spoke up. “Mother Potato?” she said. “I have an announcement to make.” “And what might that be?” said Mother, seeing the obvious excitement in her eldest daughter’s eyes. “Well,” replied the daughter, with a proud but sheepish grin, “I’m getting married!” The other daughters squealed with surprise as Mother Potato exclaimed, “Married! That’s wonderful! And who are you marrying, Eldest daughter?” “I’m marrying a Russet!” “A Russet!” replied Mother Potato with pride. “Oh, a Russet is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!”

As the family shared in the eldest daughter’s joy, the middle daughter spoke up. “Mother? I, too, have an announcement.” “And what might that be?” encouraged Mother Potato. Not knowing quite how to begin, the middle daughter paused, then said with conviction, “I, too, am getting married!” “You, too!” Mother Potato said with joy. “That’s wonderful! Twice the good news in one evening! And who are you marrying, Middle Daughter?” “I’m marrying an Idaho!” beamed the middle daughter. “An Idaho!” said Mother Potato with joy. “Oh, an Idaho is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!”

Once again, the room came alive with laughter and excited plan for the future, when the youngest Potato daughter interrupted. “Mother? Mother Potato? Um, I, too, have an announcement to make.” “Yes?” said Mother Potato with great anticipation. “Well,” began t he youngest Potato daughter with the same sheepish grin as her eldest sister before her, “I hope this doesn’t come as a shock to you, but I am getting married, as well!” “Really?” said Mother Potato with sincere excitement. “All of my lovely daughters married! What wonderful news! And who, pray tell, are you marrying, Youngest Daughter?” “I’m marrying Dan Rather!” “DAN RATHER?!” Mother Potato scowled suddenly. “But he’s just a common tater!”

THE DOCTOR because he says ”take your clothes off.”

THE DENTIST because he says ”open wide.”

THE HAIR DRESSER because he says ”do you want them teased or blown?”

THE MILKMAN because he says ”do you want it in the back or in the front?”

THE INTERIOR DECORATOR because he says ”once it’s in you’ll love it.”

THE BANKER because he says ”if you take it out too soon you’ll lose interest.”

Sometimes advertising campaigns backfire. Here are a few true examples.

1. Coors translated it’s slogan “Turn it loose” into Spanish, where it was read as “Suffer from diarrhea.”

2. Clairol introduced the “Mist Stick” curling iron into Germany, where they later found out that ‘mist’ is the German equivalent of s**t.

3. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market to coincide with the Pope’s visit. But instead of “I saw the Pope” (el Papa), the shirts read (la Papa) “I saw the potato”.

4. Pepsi’s slogan “Come alive with the Pepsi Generation” translated into Chinese as “Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the dead”.

5. When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same
packaging as in the USA, with the adorable Caucasian baby on the label. They later learned that in Africa, companies usually put pictures
of the contents on the label, as most people can’t read.

6. Frank Perdue’s chicken slogan “It takes a strong man to make a tender
chicken” was translated into Spanish as “It takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate.”

7. The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as “Ke-kou-ke-la”, meaning “Bite the wax tadpole” or, depending on the dialect, “Female horse stuffed with wax.” Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent “ko-kou-ko-le” which translates nicely into “Happiness in the mouth”.

8. When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read “It won’t leak in your pocket and embarrass you”. Instead, the translator thought that the word ‘embarrass’ was meant as ‘embarazar’ (to impregnate), so the ad read “It won’t leak in your pocket and make you pregnant”.

A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn’t seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentleman, “What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?”

The gentleman responded, “Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden and expose myself, and my tomatoes turn red from blushing so much.”

Well, the woman was so impressed, she decided to try doing the same thing to her tomato garden to see if it would work. So twice a day for two weeks she exposed herself to her garden hoping for the best. One day the gentleman was passing by and asked the woman, “By the way, how did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?”

“No” she replied, “but my cucumbers are enormous.”

Little Johnny has to write a story about someone in his family that does something amazing. The next day, he returns and tells the class that his father eats lightbulbs.

How do you know that? asks his teacher.

I heard him say it. He and Mom were in the bedroom and he said ‘I’ll only eat that thing if you turn out the light.’