On a New York convalescent home: “For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church.”

On a Maine shop: “Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship.”

At a number of military bases: “Restricted to unauthorized personnel.”

On a display of “I love you only” Valentine cards: “Now available in multi-packs.”

In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: “Don’t kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.”

In a funeral parlour: “Ask about our layaway plan.”

In a clothing store: “Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.”

In a Tacoma, a Washington men’s clothing store: “15 men’s wool suits, $10. They won’t last an hour!”

Sign in the office of a Roman doctor: “Specialist in women and other diseases.”

Sign at a garage in Hertfordshire: “Please do not smoke near the pumps. If your life isn’t worth anything – gas is!”

Sign at a Budapest zoo: “Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.”

Two drivers came to a bridge over which only one car could cross at a time. One driver leaned out his window and said to the other, ”I never back up for idiots.” So the other driver put his car in reverse and said, ”That’s okay. I do.”