You wake up face down on the pavement.

You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.

You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.

You see a “60 minutes” news team waiting in your office.

Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there aren’t any.

You turn on the news and they’re showing emergency routes out of the city.

Your twin sister forgot your birthday.

You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then realize that you don’t have a waterbed.

Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell’s Angels on the freeway.

Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache.

Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.

The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.

You wake up and your braces are locked together.

You walk to work and find your dress is stuck in the back of your pantyhose.

Your blind date turns out to be your ex.

Your paycheck bounces.

You put both contact lenses in the same eye.

Your pet rock snaps at you.

Your wife says, “Good morning, Bill” and your name is George.

Thats Life | Email to a friend | 50 views

2007 Chinese year of the Chicken = bird flu
2008 year of the Horse= equine flu
2009 year of the Pig = swine flu
2010? It’s the year of the Cock! watch out guys!

Thats Life | Email to a friend | 131 views

A traveler and his wife leave their hotel room and go to the lobby to check out. The traveler puts down a $50 bill and asks for a receipt.
The clerk says that his total bill is $75. The traveler explains that the sign advertises all rooms $50/night, tax included. He insisted that his bill is only $50 since he didn’t make any telephone calls, didn’t charge anything in the restaurant and didn’t use the mini bar.
The clerk advised that it’s for the food that comes with every room.
“But we didn’t consume any of the food”, said the traveler.
“Well that’s too bad. It was there and we charge for it”, said the clerk.
“Well then, you owe $75″, said the traveler.
“What for?” said the clerk.
“For screwing my wife last night”, said the traveller.
The clerk explained that he didn’t touch his wife.
“Well too bad…she was there!”

Thats Life | Email to a friend | 147 views

Picture Humour, Thats Life | Email to a friend | 256 views

On a New York convalescent home: “For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church.”

On a Maine shop: “Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship.”

At a number of military bases: “Restricted to unauthorized personnel.”

On a display of “I love you only” Valentine cards: “Now available in multi-packs.”

In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: “Don’t kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.”

In a funeral parlour: “Ask about our layaway plan.”

In a clothing store: “Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.”

In a Tacoma, a Washington men’s clothing store: “15 men’s wool suits, $10. They won’t last an hour!”

Sign in the office of a Roman doctor: “Specialist in women and other diseases.”

Sign at a garage in Hertfordshire: “Please do not smoke near the pumps. If your life isn’t worth anything – gas is!”

Sign at a Budapest zoo: “Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.”

Thats Life | Email to a friend | 183 views