The priest was preparing a man for his long day’s journey into night. Whispering firmly, the priest said, “Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!”
The dying man said nothing. The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing. The priest asked, “Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?”
The dying man said, “Until I know where I’m heading, I don’t think I ought to aggravate anybody”.
A man coughed violently, and his false teeth shot across the room and smashed against the wall. “Oh, dear,” he said, “whatever shall I do? I can’t afford a new set”.
“Don’t worry,” said his friend. “I’ll get a pair from my brother for you”.
The next day the friend came back with the teeth, which fitted perfectly. “This is wonderful,” said the man. “Your brother must be a very good dentist”.
“Oh, he’s not a dentist,” replied the friend, “he’s an undertaker”.
Roger was sitting in a very full bus when a fat woman opposite said, “If you were a gentleman, young man, you’d stand up and let someone else sit down”.
“And if you were a lady”, replied Roger, “you’d stand up and let four people sit down”.
Three friends were backpacking through Europe and found out about a magical mountain near the coast, so they decided to check it out.
When they finally reached the top of the mountain they saw a man jump straight off the edge and screamed that he wanted to be an eagle then poof he turned into an eagle and flew away.
After seeing that the three friends got really excited and decided to go for it.
The first thought for a second and then dashed straight off and yelled “I want to be a hawk” then poof he turned into a hawk and flew away. The second friend thought for a second and finally decided and jumped off and yelled “I want to be a a mountain goat” then poof he turned into a mountain goat and ran away. The third friend thought about for a long while and then finally decided, he ran as fast as he could ready to jump but then slipped on loose rocks and fell off the yelling “ohh crrraaappp” SPLAT!
This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.
There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.
Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did.
Somebody got angry about this, because it was Everybody’s job.
Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it.
It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done!