Two elephants
Two elephants walk off a cliff...... boom boom!

Monkey Programmers

A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, “I’ll have that monkey please”.

The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop, and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash and handed it to the customer, saying, “That’ll be $5000″. The customer paid and walked out with his monkey.

Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, “That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did he cost so much?” The shopkeeper answered, “Ah, that monkey can program in ‘C’ very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money.”

The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage. “That one’s even more expensive - $10,000! What does he do?”

“Oh, that one’s a C++ monkey; he can manage object-oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java. All the really useful stuff,” said the shopkeeper.

The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of his own. The price tag around his neck read $50,000. He gasped to the shopkeeper, “That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does he do?”

The shopkeeper shrugged and said, “Well, to tell you the truth, I haven’t actually seen him do anything, but he says he’s a SAP consultant.”

Microsoft Magic

MAGIC #1
An Indian found that nobody can create a FOLDER anywhere on the Computer which can be named as “CON”. This is something funny and inexplicable… At Microsoft the whole Team, couldn’t answer why this happened!
TRY IT NOW, IT WILL NOT CREATE A “CON” FOLDER

MAGIC #2
For those of you using Windows, do the following:
1.) Open an empty notepad file
2.) Type “Bush hid the facts” (without the quotes)
3.) Save it as whatever you want.
4.) Close it, and re-open it with notepad.
Noticed the weird bug? No one can explain!

Try it again with “Bill fed the goats” as text.

MAGIC #3
Again this is something funny and can’t be explained… At Microsoft the whole Team, including Bill Gates, couldn’t answer why this happened!
It was discovered by a Brazilian. Try it out yourself…
Open Microsoft Word and type
=rand (200, 99)
And then press ENTER
And see the magic…..!

PS - There are logical explanations for these so you can find out by crawling the web.

Software & Hardware

Boy: can i touch ur software?
Girl: first show me ur hardware?

Boy: should i install it in ur system?
Girl: Oky but cover it with antivirus, then install it.

After you…

HTML Expert

Network Expert

Programmer

Install Microsoft Vista in 2 Minutes

DNA Test

A woman goes into the doctor because she’s missed a couple of periods and takes a test, revealing she’s pregnant. So she goes into the doctor to confirm the results, and finds out she’s about 3 1/2 months pregnant.

“Hmmmm.” she says.

“Is this not good news?” He says to her.

“No, not necessarily.. The problem is that I’ve been with 5 different guys in the past 4 months, I have no idea who the father could be!”

“Well, it looks as though you may want to contact each of them and have them come in for DNA testing. Then you’ll know for sure.” Said the Doc.

“I can’t do that.” She says.

“Why not?” The Doctor replies.

“Because, they’ve changed their Screen Names!!!!”

True Origin of the Internet

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was named Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, “Why dost thou travel far from town to town with thy goods, when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?”

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, “How, dear?” And Dot replied, “I will place drums in all the towns, and drums in between, to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums, and the goods can be delivered by Uriah’s Pony Stable (UPS).”

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were a wondrous happening. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent.

But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secrete himself inside Abraham’s drum and was accused of insider trading. And the young man did take to Dot Com’s trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. He was called a Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominant Siderite, or NERDS for short.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums, that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would work only with Brother Gates’ drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, “Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others.”

And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or as it came to be known “eBay” he said, “We need a name that reflects what we are.”

And Dot replied, “Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators.”

“YAHOO,” said Abraham.

And that is how it all began.

Matrix XP