A man goes to the pharmacy to pick up his Viagra prescription and carries on over the $10/pill price. His wife, who was with him, had a different opinion: “Oh, $40 a year isn’t too bad.

Did you hear about the first death from an overdose of Viagra? A man took twelve pills and his wife died.

Dan Quayle does not support Viagra. Quote: “I’ve been using this stuff for a week and NOTHING! It’s the worst suppository I’ve ever used.”

Men taking iron supplements are warned that taking Viagra may cause them to spin around and point north.

Mix Viagra and Prozac and you have a guy who is ready to go, but doesn’t really care where.

Pfizer invented a pill for women in answer to Viagra. One hour after a woman takes the pill she gets a headache.

There was the pensioner who ended up in hospital after reading the instructions on the viagra container, “screw in an anti-clockwise direction”

Unconfirmed rumours on Wall Street have it that Bill Gates has made a tender offer for all shares of Pfizer. He wants to do a spin-off and name it MicroHard!

A man with a 25-inch long penis goes to his doctor to complain that he is unable to get any women to have sex with him. They all tell him that his penis is too long. “Doctor,” he asks in total frustration, “Is there any way you can shorten it?”

The doctor replies, “Medically son, there is nothing I can do. But, I do know this witch who may be able to help you out”.

So the doctor gives him directions to the witch. The man calls upon the witch and relays his story. “Witch, my penis is 25-inches long and I can’t get any women to have sex with me. Can you help me shorten it?”

The witch stares in amazement, scratches her head, and then replies, “I think I have a solution to your problem. What you have to do is go to this pond deep in the forest. In the pond, you will see a frog sitting on a log who can help solve your dilemma. First you must ask the frog, will you marry me? Each time the frog declines your proposal, your penis will be five inches shorter.”

The man’s face lights up and he dashes off into the forest. He calls out to the frog, “Will you marry me?” The frog looks at him dejectedly and replies, “NO!”

The man looks down and suddenly his penis is 5 inches shorter. “Wow,” he screams out loud, “This is great!!” But he is still too long at 20 inches, so he asks the frog again.” “Frog, will you marry me?” the guy shouts. The frog rolls its eyes back in its head and screams back, “NO!”

The man feels another twitch in his penis, looks down, and it’s another 5 inches shorter. The man laughs, “This is fantastic.” He looks down at his penis again, 15 inches long, and reflects for a moment. Fifteen inches is still a monster, just a little less would be ideal. Grinning, he looks across the pond and yells out, “Frog, will you marry me?”

The frog looks back across pond shaking its head, “How many times do I have to tell you? NO, NO, and for the last time, NO!”

A man walks into a tattoo parlour and says to the tattoo artist, “Do you tattoo penises?”
The tattoo artist looks confused and says, “It’s a pretty difficult thing and very painful, but if you really want one you need to justify the reason”.
The man looks at the tattoo artist and says, “I want a tattoo of a One Hundred dollar bill on my penis. I have three good reasons for this, too”.
The tattoo artist isn’t convinced and asks the man for his reasons.
The man replies, “First, I like to handle all of my money. Second, I like to watch my money grow. Third, and most importantly, when my wife asks me for a hundred bucks to blow on shopping, I can tell her she can blow a hundred bucks right here at home!”

A young woman asks her mother,
“How many kinds of penis are there?”
Surprised the mother answers, “Well, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, a man’s penis is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree.”
“A Christmas tree? Why like a Christmas tree?” the young woman asks.
“Because, it’s dried up, and the balls are only there for decoration.”