A young Southern peasant girl of fourteen went to work in a broom factory. After 2 months she gave the boss a two-week notice.
The boss was quite unhappy to let her go since she was hard working, knew her tasks etc. He called her into his office, “But why?” he asked.
“Nothin, I just wanna quit that’s all”, she said sullenly.
“Look, I’ll give you a raise”.
“No,” she said.
“You can’t just quit like that. There must be a reason.Tell me”.
“Okay if you must know…” said the girl, and she took off her underwear and pointed to her pubic hair, “Look, I haven’t had this before, it’s the broom’s bristles, I tell you…”
Tickled by her innocence, he too took off his underwear and showed his, and said, “Ha ha…my dear, it’s nature. Look, I have it, too….”
“Oh no!” the girl cried, “I can’t wait two weeks, I quit now! Not only do you have the bristles, but you’ve grown the handle as well”.
Results of a recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex.
The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex.
* This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.
The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex.
* This is when you have been with your partner for a short time, and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.
The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex.
* This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine, and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.
The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex
* This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say “screw you.”
The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex.
* Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night. (Very Popular)
The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex.
* This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.
And, last, but not least: The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex.
* You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself.
In 1993, the American Government funded a study to see why the Head of a Penis was bigger than the rest of it.
After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.
After the US published the study, France decided to do their own.
After $250,000.00, and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.
Poland, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost of around $75.46, they concluded that it was to keep a man’s hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.
After a few years of married life, this guy finds that he is unable to perform in bed anymore. He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few things but nothing works. Finally the doctor says to him “this is all in your mind”, and refers him to a psychiatrist. After a few visits to the shrink, the shrink confesses, “I am at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured.”
Finally the psychiatrist refers him to witch doctor. The witch doctor tells , “I can cure this”, and throws some powder on a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke…….. The witch doctor says, “This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year! All you have to do is say ‘123’ and it shall rise for as long as you wish!” The guy then asks the witch doctor “What happens when it’s over?” The witch doctor says “all you have to say is ‘1234’ and it will go down. But be warned it will not work again for a year!”
The guy goes home and that night he is ready to surprise his wife with the good news……. So, he is lying in bed with her and says “123”, and suddenly he gets a massive erection. His wife turns over and says “What did you say ‘123’ for?”
A man is having problems with his pecker which certainly had seen better times. He consults a doctor who, after a couple of tests, says, “Sorry, but you’ve overdone it the last 30 years. Your pecker is burned out; you only have 30 erections left in your penis”.
The man walks home (deeply depressed); his wife is waiting for him at the front door and asks him what the doctor said concerning his problem. He tells her what the doctor had said.
She says, “Oh no, only 30 times! We shouldn’t waste that; we should make a list!”
He replies, “Yes, I already made a list on the way home. Sorry, your name isn’t on it”.