Father Christmas was not in a very good frame of mind – in fact he was very depressed.”

That morning after breakfast, Mrs Santa had told him that her Mother wasoming over to stay ‘for a few days’ and he knew that would be for several weeks, and as Christmas was approaching her visit was the last thing that he wanted.”

The Elves had neen playing up and had gone on strike for more pay. The replacement elves Santa had put in were much slower and the number of toys that had been made was way down.

Father Christmas went to visit his Reindeers and found that two of them were pregnant and another two had kicked down the fence and had disappeared into the forest. He was by now even more depressed.

What I need is a drink he thought, but upon going indoors he found that the elves had hidden his Whisky and there was nothing left to drink in his liquour cabinet. Deciding upon a coffee he went into the kitchen but managed to drop the Jar of Coffee all over the floor. Now he really was cheesed off!”

He went to fetch the broom to sweep up the mess but found that the mice had chewed off all the bristles.

At that moment there was a knock at the front door.

Upon opening it, Father Christmas was confronted by a beautiful Fairy holding a lovely Christmas Tree.”

“Good Morning, Santa” she called “Isn’t it a really lovely day. I have bought you this beautiful tree, isn’t it lovely? Where would you like me to stickit?”

And that is why by tradition we have a Fairy sitting on top of our Christmas Trees.

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Picture Humour, Seasonal | Email to a friend | 132 views

Sam had been in business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible.

Sam sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month.

Otherwise it’s total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is a huge, bearded man standing there.

“Name’s Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road…”

Having a Christmas party Friday night… Thought you might like to come. About 5:00…”

“Great,” says Sam, “after six months out here I’m ready to meet some local folks. Thank you.”

As Lars is leaving, he stops. “Gotta warn you… There’s gonna be some drinkin’.

“Not a problem,” says Sam. “After 25 years in business, I can drink with the best of em.”

Again, as he starts to leave, Lars stops. “More ‘n’ likely gonna be some fightin’ too.”

Sam says, “Well, I get along with people, I’ll be alright. I’ll be there. Thanks again.”

Once again Lars turns from the door. “More’n likely be some wild sex, too.”

“Now that’s really not a problem,” says Sam, warming to the idea.

“I’ve been all alone for six months! I’ll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?”

Lars stops in the door again and says, “Whatever you want. Just gonna be the two of us.”

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Picture Humour, Seasonal | Email to a friend | 162 views