Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.

“First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector”, says the Coroner.

“Second body: “Scotsman, 25, won a thousand dollars on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.”

The Inspector asked, “What of the third body?”

“Ah,” says the coroner, “this is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning.”

“Why is he smiling then?” inquires the Inspector.”

“Thought he was having his picture taken.”

How many rednecks, does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three. One to hold the bulb, and two to turn the ladder.

A redneck teacher decides to give her class a small pop quiz around Halloween.

Okay, how many of you have seen a ghost? About 30% of the class puts their hand up.

Okay, how many of you have actually touched a ghost? About 10% of the class puts their hand up.

Okay, how many of you have had sex with a ghost? Dead silence, until a little redneck boy in the back row puts up his hand.

You’ve actually had sex with a ghost?

Ghost? Oh. I thought you said goat!