Lay off
A company boss has to decide who to lay someone off. He decides on two low level management employees Jack or Karen. He goes to Karen and says, ""I will have to lay you or Jack off.""

Redneck Ghost Story

A redneck teacher decides to give her class a small pop quiz around Halloween.

Okay, how many of you have seen a ghost? About 30% of the class puts their hand up.

Okay, how many of you have actually touched a ghost? About 10% of the class puts their hand up.

Okay, how many of you have had sex with a ghost? Dead silence, until a little redneck boy in the back row puts up his hand.

You’ve actually had sex with a ghost?

Ghost? Oh. I thought you said goat!

I Guess That’s Fair

Two rednecks meet on a dusty country road. One of them is carrying a big bag labeled, “chickens.”

Chickens, eh? says one guy. “Hey, if I guess how many chickens you got, will you give me one?”

Heck, says the guy with the bag, “iffin you guess right, I’ll give you both of ‘em.”

The other scratches his head and guesses, “Um… five?”

Get Ahead

Two rednecks, Bubba and Cooter, decided that they weren’t going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.
Bubba goes in first, and the professor advises him to take math, history and logic.
What’s logic? asked Bubba.
The professor answered, “”Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed-whacker?”"
I sure do, answered the redneck.
Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard, replied the professor.
That’s real good, the redneck responded in awe.
The professor continued, “”Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also have a house.”"
Impressed, the redneck shouted, “”AMAZING!”"
And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife.
Betty Mae! This is incredible!
Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual, said the professor.
You’re absolutely right! Why, that’s the most fascinating thing I ever heard of! I can’t wait to take this here logic class.
Bubba, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where Cooter waswaiting.
So, what classes are ya takin? he asks.
Math, history and logic, replies Bubba.
Cooter asks, “”What isis logic?”"
Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed-eater?
No.
You’re a queer, ain’t ya?

A Roomful of Rednecks

What do you get when you have 32 rednecks in a room?

Redneck Hitchiker

A truck driver was driving down the highway when he sees a priest hitchhiking on the road. He stops to pick up the priest, but he has a few misgivings about giving him a ride; usually when the driver sees a redneck on the road, he hits them — with a priest in the truck, he’d have to swerve. But the driver decides to pick up the priest.

A little while later, he comes across a redneck hitchhiking. He decides to just swerve and let this one live when, all of a sudden he hears a “BOOM!” The driver looks over at the priest, who says, “Don’t worry — I got him with the door.”