Lay off
A company boss has to decide who to lay someone off. He decides on two low level management employees Jack or Karen. He goes to Karen and says, ""I will have to lay you or Jack off.""

Bar… Duckman

A man walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender says, “May I help you, sir?”
The duck says, “Yeah. Help me get this human out of my ass.”

Run, Little Cow

Why did the calf cross the street?
To get to the udder side.

How To Get A Raise

A boss tells his new employee, “I’ll give you 8 bucks an hour starting today and in three months, I’ll raise it to 10 bucks an hour. So when would you like to start?”
“In 3 months”.

Lay off

A company boss has to decide who to lay someone off. He decides on two low level management employees Jack or Karen. He goes to Karen and says, “”I will have to lay you or Jack off.”"

Lawyers’ Word Processor

Q: Have you heard about the lawyers’ word processor?
A: No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.

Fooled You

Whats another name for a push-up bra?
False advertisement.

Blonde Skydiver

Q: Did you hear about the blonde skydiver?

A: She missed the Earth!

If you’re American …

If you’re American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you when you’re in the bathroom?
European!