Tom Jones
"Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home." "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. " "Is it common? " "It's not unusual."

Birmingham Mail - Crying

Part 1

Part 2

Bank of England goes bust

Credit Crunch Poets

What’s the difference between a Lehman’s trader and a pigeon?
A pigeon can still leave a deposit on a Ferrari.

Dead Donkey

A young man named Gordon bought a donkey from an old farmer for £100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

When the farmer drove up the next day he said: “Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkey is on my truck but he is dead.”

Gordon replied: “Well, give me my money back then.”

The farmer said: “Sorry, I can”t do that as I have spent it already.” Gordon sighed: “OK then, just unload the donkey anyway.”

The farmer asked: “What are you going to do with him?” “Gordon replied: “I am going to raffle him off.” To which the farmer exclaimed: “You can’t raffle off a dead donkey!” “But Gordon, with a big smile on his face, said: “Sure I can, watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he”s dead.”

One month later, the farmer met Gordon and asked: “What happened to that dead donkey?”

Gordon replied: “I raffled him off, sold 500 tickets at £2 each and made a huge profit.”

Totally amazed, the farmer asked: “Didn’t anyone complain about you taking their money because you failed to tell them about the donkey being dead?”

Then Gordon replied: “The only guy who found out about the donkey being dead was the raffle winner. When he came to claim his prize, I gave him his £2 back plus £200 extra, which is double the market price of a donkey, so he thought I was a great guy. That still left me nearly £800 ahead.”

Gordon grew up and eventually became Chancellor of the Exchequer and no matter how many times he failed to tell the whole truth or how much money he took from British voters, so long as he gave them back some of their money, most of them thought he was a great guy. He then became Prime Minister!”

Morning at the White House

White House staffers were perplexed one morning to see Bill Clinton walk into the Oval Office with a pair of woman’s panties pinned to his arm. Somewhat used to the president’s tendencies, they let it go and went about their daily tasks. As the day wore on, several VIPs were ushered in and out of the Oval Office for meetings with Clinton about important affairs of the state.
Each one left with a puzzled expression on his face, but no one dared ask the President’s personal business.
Finally, Betty Currie, Clinton’s loyal secretary walked into the office between appointments and gently closed the door behind her. “Mr. President,” she said. “We’ve come to expect many unusual things from you but we’re all quite concerned that you seem to be wearing a pair of woman’s panties on your arm. Please tell me this doesn’t mean more ‘trouble’.”
“Oh no,” the President grinned, “it’s the patch. I’m trying to quit.”

The Bill Clinton Sale

Q: Did you hear about the Bill Clinton sale at clothing stores on President’s day?
A: All pants half off!

JibJab Time for Some Campaignin’

Slick Willy

Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and Ross Perot are on a ship when it is sinking. Perot orders for all women to head for the life boats. Bush says screw the women! Clinton says “Do we have time?”

Gordon’s Food Crisis

June 7th 2008, Food Crisis