Make love not war. Unless you want to do both. If so – get married.

A married couple go to a nudist colony with their four-year-old son. The son asks, “Dad, why do some men have big knobs and others little ones?”

The father, not wishing to get into a discussion, replies, “The Men with the big knobs are smart and the Men with the little ones are dumb.”

The little boy accepts the explanation and doesn’t ask any more questions.

A little while later the father is looking for his wife and can’t find her. So he asks his son, “Do you know where mummy is?”

“Sure” replies the boy, “She’s behind the bushes with this really dumb guy who is getting smarter by the minute!”

A woman checked in at the pearly gates and asked to join her former husband, Walter Smith. Saint Peter said, “We have five million Walter Smiths. Give us a little clue.”
The woman said, “My Walter is bald and has blue eyes, and he said that if I ever slept with another man he’d turn over in his grave.”
Saint Peter motioned an angel forward. “Take her to Turning Walter!”

A guy is about to have sex with a really fat woman, so he climbs on top of her.
“Can I turn the ceiling light off?” he asks.
“Why?” she replies, “Are you feeling a bit shy lover boy?”
“Nope,” the guy replies, “it’s burning my arse!”