The ten things a guy knows about a girl:

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10. They have boobs.

Bob and Jane were married 25 years. When they first got married Bob said, “I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it”.

In all their 25 years of marriage Jane never looked. However, on the afternoon of their 25th anniversary curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer cans and $1371.75 in cash. She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why.

That evening they were out for a special dinner. After dinner Jane could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying, “I am so sorry. For all these years I kept my promise and never looked into the box under our bed. However today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know why do you keep the empty cans in the box?”

Bob thought for a while and said, “I guess after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again”.

Jane was shocked, but said, “I am very disappointed and saddened but I guess after all those years away from home on the road, temptation does happen and I guess that 3 times is not that bad considering the years”.

They hugged and made their peace. A little while later Jane asked Bob, “Why do you have all that money in the box?”

Bob answered, “Whenever the box filled with empties, I cashed them in”.

Sam and Becky are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Sam says to Becky, “Becky, I was wondering – have you ever cheated on me?”

Becky replies, “Oh Sam, why would you ask such a question now? You don’t want to ask that question…”

“Yes, Becky, I really want to know. Please…”

“Well, all right. Yes, 3 times…”

“Three? Well, when were they?” he asked.

“Well, Sam, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember, then one day the bank president himself came over the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?”

“Oh, Becky, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, to do such a thing for me. So, when was number 2?”

“Well, Sam, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Then remember how the doctor came all the way up here, to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?”

“I can’t believe it! Becky, you should do such a thing for me, to save my l ife. I couldn’t have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me darling. I coudn’t be more moved. So, all right then, when was number 3?”

“Well, Sam, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 17 votes short..?”

A woman who plays cards one night a month with a group of friends was concerned that she always woke up her husband when she came home around 11:30.

One night she decided to try not to rouse him. She undressed in the living room and, purse over arm, tiptoed nude into the bedroom – only to find her husband sitting up in bed reading.

“Dammit woman!” he exclaimed. “Did you lose everything?”