A man dies and goes to Heaven. When he arrives he sees that there is a long line to the Pearly Gates. After some time he hears a commotion behind him and turns to see a man in a long white coat with a stethoscope in the pocket cutting past everyone. He strides right through the gates without a pause and past everyone who had been waiting forever.
When the man gets to St. Peter he says, “Say, who was that guy who cut past everybody and walked right through?”
St. Peter replied, “Oh. That’s God. Sometimes he likes to think he’s a doctor.”

Medical | Email to a friend | 15 views

A man is in a hospital bed completley wrapped up in a body cast. One of the nurses gave him a rectal thermometer and said, “Don’t move — I’ll be right back.”

When she returned the thermometer was in his mouth. She asked in amazement, “How did you get that in your mouth, you can’t even move?” Then the man said, “I hiccupped.”

Medical | Email to a friend | 16 views

A man goes to see the doctor and tells the doc that his penis has turned orange.

The doctor looks at it and says, “I haven’t ever seen any thing like this before in my entire medical career. What do you do for a living? Do you work around any hazardous materials?” The man says no.

The doctor asks the man what he does all day. The man responds, “Nothing.” The doctor is really puzzled now and says, “You can’t not do anything. What do you do at home all day?”

The man replies, “Honestly, doc I, don’t do anything. I just sit around, watch porno flicks and eat Cheetos.”

Medical | Email to a friend | 73 views

A lady walks into her doctors office screaming.

She yells, “Doctor, Doctor my breasts are hairy! What do I do?”

The doctor asks, “Well, how long does the hair grow?”

The lady replies, “From here to my penis, but that’s a different story!”

Medical | Email to a friend | 55 views

“Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a spoon.”
“Sit still and don’t stir.”

Medical, Quickies | Email to a friend | 50 views