Angus Fraser, cricket writer :

There’s an Irish contestant on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? he doesn’t know answer.
Chris Tarrant says: “Don’t forget you’ve got 50/50, ask the audience and phone a friend.”
The Irishman says: “I’ll phone a friend, please Chris.”
He gets on the phone and says: “Hi Seamus, I just want to ask you, do you think I should do 50/50 or ask the audience?”

Irish | Email to a friend | 104 views

An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.

‘I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.

When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60lbs!

‘Why, that’s amazing!’ the doctor said, ‘Did you follow my instructions?’

The Irishman nodded.’I'll tell you though, by jaesuz, I t’aut I were going to drop dead on dat 3rd day.’

‘From the hunger, you mean?’ asked the doctor.

‘No, from the foockin’ skippin’

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie. It says, “I will give you three wishes.”

The man thinks awhile. Finally he says, “I want a beer that never is empty.”

With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes.

The man says, “I want two more of these.”

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Two men drive into a car wash. Which one is the Irishman?
The one on the motorbike.

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