1. You so dumb you invented a helicopter with an ejector seat.
2. You so dumb you got locked in a super market and starved to death.
3. You so dumb you got locked in the toilets and wet yourself.
Hey, I may be fat, but you’ll always be ugly, and I can diet.
Man: So, how do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too, if you sit down.
Man: Do you want to dance?
Man: Sorry, I think you misheard me…I said, You Look fat in those pants.
Little Sister: Your Ugly.
You: And your quite good looking…for a Gorilla, that is…
Do you notice how I’ve kept my youthful complexion?
Yeah, so I see…all spotty
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You are going to yours, and I’m going to mine.
Man: So, what’s your sign?
Woman: No Entry
Man: I know how to please a Woman.
Woman: Well, please leave me alone.
Friend: I’ve just come back from the Beauticians
You: Pity it was closed…
Man: Please whisper those 3 little words that would make my day!
Woman: Go to hell
Friend: I’ve changed my mind…
You: Excellent, so does the new one work better?
Boss: Employees like that don’t grow on trees you know…
You: How true Sir, they normally swing underneath them…
Brother: Why do you smell funny?
You: It’s called Soap – don’t think you’ve ever smelt it before…
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I’m a Female Impersonator.
Man: Hey there, haven’t I seen you some place before?
Woman: Yes, and that’s why I don’t go there anymore.
Man: Say, haven’t we met before?
Woman: Yes, I’m the head Nurse at the VD clinic.
Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: You know, you’re dead right…I want you to go away!
Wife: Darling, do you think I’ll lose my looks as I get older
You: With luck, yes
Work Colleague: Do you find me entertaining?
You: I reckon you are too dim to entertain a thought
Old Wife: Shall I put the TV on? Old Man: Well it would certainly improve the view in here…
You know, I’ve been asked to get married over a hundreds times.
Yeah, but your parents don’t count…
How many people work in your office?
About half of them
Brother: I love biscuits
You: That’s cuz your crackers
You: I reckon you’d make a great exchange student.
Friend: Wow, you really think so?
You: Yes, we might be able to exchange you for someone nice.
Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
Yo mama so poor that she has to chase down the garbage truck with a shopping list.
Yo mama so poor that she tried to use food stamps on a gumball machine.
Yo mama so poor that when I whacked her on the back, her titties fell off.
Yo mama so poor that I borrowed your skateboard and she called the cops saying her car got stolen.
Yo mama so poor i walked in her house and stepped on a penny and she yelled get off my paycheck!