A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing the letter ”R,” and all the other kids were, of course, teasing him about it. To help him out, the teacher gave him a sentence to practice at home: ”Robert gave Richard a rap in the ribs for roasting the rabbit so rare.”

In class a few days later, the teacher asked the boy to recite the sentence out loud.

The boy nervously eyed his classmates–many of them already laughing at him–then replied, ”Bob gave Dick a poke in the side because the bunny wasn’t cooked enough.”

Education | Email to a friend | 29 views

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, “‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor’”.

A small voice from the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher; she’s still old, nasty, and wrinkled”.

Children, Education | Email to a friend | 40 views

It was the first day of school and a new student named Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said “Give me liberty, or give me Death?”

She saw a sea of blank faces, except Martinez, who had his hand up, “Patrick Henry 1775.”

“Very Good”! Who said “Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth?”

Again, no response except for Martinez: “Abraham Lincoln, 1863.” he said.

The teacher snapped at the class, “Class, you should be ashamed. Martinez, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do”.

She heard a loud whisper. “Screw the Mexicans” “Who said that?” she demanded.

Martinez put his hand up. “Jim Bowie. 1836.”

At that point, a student in the back said. “I’m gonna puke”.

The teacher glares, and asks “All right! Now, who said that?”

Again, Martinez says “George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister. 1991″

Now furious, another student yells, “Oh yeah? Suck this! ”

Martinez jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher “Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky. 1997!”

Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, “You little shit. if you say anything I’ll kill you.”

Martinez frantically yells at the top of his voice, “Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001.”

The teacher fainted. and as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, “Oh shit, we’re in Big trouble!”

Martinez said, “Saddam Hussein 2003″

Education | Email to a friend | 61 views

It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: “Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may being plowing.”
Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: “Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class.”

Education | Email to a friend | 44 views

How do bees get to school?
By school buzz!

Why were you late?
Sorry, teacher, I overslept.
You mean you need to sleep at home too!

What are you going to be when you get out of school?
An old man!

Teacher: This note from your father looks like your handwriting?
Pupil: Well, yes, he borrowed my pen!

Teacher: Does anyone know which month has 28 days?
Pupil: All of them!

Teacher: What are the Great Plains?
Pupil: 747, Concorde and F-16!

Laugh and the class laughs with you.
But you get detention alone!

Teacher: Name two pronouns?
Pupil: Who?, me?

Teacher : Make up a sentence using the word lettuce!
Pupil: Let us out of school early!

What did you learn in school today?
Not enough, I have to go back tomorrow!

Education | Email to a friend | 87 views