Tyler was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. So, Tyler raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course, the teacher said yes, but asked Tyler to be quick. Five minutes later Tyler returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed. “I can’t find it,” he admitted.

The teacher sat Tyler down and drew him a little diagram to where he should go and asked him if he will be able to find it now. Tyler looked at the diagram, said “yes” and goes on his way. Well, five minutes later he returned to the class room and says to the teacher, “I can’t find it.” Frustrated, the teacher asked Tommy, a boy who has been at the school for a while, to help him find the bathroom. So, Tommy and Tyler go together and five minutes later they both return and sit down at their seats. The teacher asks Tommy, “Well, did you find it?” Tommy is quick with his reply, “Oh sure, he just had his boxer shorts on backwards.”

A survey of top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations asking for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants revealed the following low-lights:

1. “… stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application. ”

2. “She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time. ”

3. “A balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece. ”

4. “… asked to see interviewer’s resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate. ”
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Tony the farmer was in the fertilised egg business He had several hundred young laying hens (pullets) and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilise the eggs.

Tony kept records and any rooster that didn’t perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so Tony could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

Farmer Tony’s favourite rooster was old Gordon, and a very fine specimen he was too. But on this particular morning Tony noticed old Gordon’s bell hadn’t rung at all!

Tony went to investigate. All the other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. But to farmer Tony’s amazement, Gordon had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a pullet, do the business and walk on to the next one.

Tony was so proud of Gordon, he entered him in the West Berks County Fair and Gordon became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded Gordon the No Bell Peace Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.

Clearly Gordon was a politician in the making: Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren’t paying attention.