A young, freshly minted lieutenant was sent to Bosnia as part of the peace keeping mission. During a briefing on land mines, the captain asked for questions.
Our intrepid solder raised his hand and asked, “If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?”
“Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area.”

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant “idiot”.
– (Terry Pratchett, The Colour of Magic)

“Let’s just say that if complete and utter chaos was lightning, he’d be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting ‘All gods are bastards’.”
– Rincewind discussing Twoflower
(Terry Pratchett, The Colour of Magic)

A true story, according to the LA Times…..Coach Frank Layden of the Utah Jazz asked forward Jeff Wilkins, “Is your bad play due to ignorance or apathy?”
Wilkins replied, “I don’t know and I don’t care!”