Education | Email to a friend | 236 views

Q: How does an Essex Girl relieve stress?
A. Changes hands.

Q: Why did the Essex girl fail her driving test?
A. She forgot to check the mirror before going down on the examiner.

Q: What’s the difference between an Essex girl and a carpenter?
A. Essex girl has longer nails.

Q: What happened to the Essex girl who bought a vibrator?
A. She knocked all her teeth out.

Q: What is Essex girl’s idea of sophistication?
A. Malibu-flavoured condoms.

Q: What’s the difference between Essex girl and Heinz Tomato Soup?
A. There’s no artificial colouring in Heinz Tomato soup.

Q: What is the Essex Girl attachment on a Swiss Army Knife for?
A. Getting feet out of steering wheels.

Q: What’s the difference between Essex girl and a turkey?
A. A turkey doesn’t gobble at night.

Q: How do you find an Essex girl’s G-spot?
A. Promise her a weekend in Marbella.

Q: How do you confuse an Essex girl?
A. Take her out in a left hand drive car.

Q: Why does an Essex girl where cheap perfume?
A. To keep the flies off her kebab.

Misc | Email to a friend | 165 views

An engineer died and ended up in Hell. He was not pleased with the level of comfort in Hell, and began to redesign and build improvements. After a while, they had toilets that flush, air conditioning, and escalators. Everyone grew very fond of him.

One day God called to Satan to mock him, “So, how’s it going down there in Hell?”

Satan replied, “Hey, things are great. We’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.”

God was surprised, “What? You’ve got an engineer? That’s a mistake. He should never have gotten down there in the first place. Send him back up here.”

No way, replied Satan. “I like having an engineer, and I’m keeping him.”

God threatened, “Send him back up here now or I’ll sue!”

Satan laughed and answered, “Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?”

Animals, Misc | Email to a friend | 254 views

Do you know how copper wire was invented? Two lawyers fighting over a penny.

Blondes, Lawyer, Quickies | Email to a friend | 240 views

According to Yahoo Article/….

In the UK: Stan Still, Helen Back, Doug Hole, Terry Bull, Tim Burr, Rose Bush, Pearl Button, Will Power, Barry Cade, Mary Christmas, Chris Cross, Teresa Green, Ray Gunn, Jo King, Sonny Day, Justin Case, Lee King and Max Power.

In the US found these: Bill Board, Anna Prentice, Annette Curtain and my personal favourite Carrie Oakey.

Additions : Hazel Nutt, Penny Black, Russell Sprout, Rosie Balls, Holly Day, Harry Balls, Jo King, Gaynor Hardon

Thats Life | Email to a friend | 218 views