Videos | Email to a friend | 273 views

A blonde decides to join the military thinking she can meet a few guys.
What is wrong with this joke?

1. This isn’t a joke 2. The blonde is thinking.

Blondes | Email to a friend | 427 views

What did the skeleton say before it ate?
“Bone-appetit.”

What did the rug say to the floor?
I’ve got you covered?

What did the nut say to the bolt?
Screw me!

What did the mother vampire say to her daughter when she picked up a tampon?
Honey, no in-between meal snacks!

What did the horse say when he fell?
“I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up!”

What did the hat say to the tie?
You hang around here…I’ll go on a head.

What did the blonde say when she saw the sign for the YMCA?
Look, they spelled Macy’s wrong!

What did the blonde say to the rock n’ roller?
“How awesome is Britney Spears?!!!”

What did the blonde call her pet zebra?
Spot!

What did the bird say after his cage broke?
Cheap, cheap!

What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean?
Nothing, they just waved.

What did one candle say to the other candle?
Want to go out tonight?

What did Mr. Spock find in the toilet?
The Captain’s log!

What did King Tut say when he got scared?
I want my mummy!

What did Cinderella say when she left the photo store?
Someday my prints will come…

What did Bill Gates’ wife say to him on their wedding night?
“Now I know why you named your company Microsoft!”

What did the elephant say to the naked man?
“It’s nice, but can it pick up peanuts?”

Misc | Email to a friend | 2,031 views

Four professionals – an engineer, a chemist, an accountant and an IT contractor – were all boasting about how clever their dogs were.

The engineer said that his dog could do something pretty impressive, so the others asked him to show them. “Setsquare, come here” shouted the engineer, “do your stuff.” The dog walked over, picked up a ruler and a pencil and drew a perfect square on a piece of paper that was on the floor. The others agreed that this was pretty impressive.

The chemist also said that his dog was very intelligent, and offered to show the others. “Prescription, come here, do your stuff”. Prescription ran over and went to the fridge, where he took out a bottle of milk. Then he took a 10ml glass and poured the milk into the glass, right up to the top of the rim, without spilling any. Again everyone thought this was pretty cool.

Then the accountant called his dog over. “Spreadsheet, get to work”. Spreadsheet ran into the kitchen and brought out a box of twelve biscuits. He then opened the box and divided the biscuits into four equal piles of three each. The four professionals were suitably impressed.

They turned to the IT contractor and said “What can your dog do?” The IT contractor called his dog over. “Chargeable, come over here, get to work.” Chargeable ambled over, drank the milk, ate the cookies, dumped on the paper, shagged the three other dogs, presented a bill for seven thousand pounds, lit a cigar, got into his Lotus and screeched off into the sunset.

Technology | Email to a friend | 278 views