A doctor, an engineer, a rabbi and a lawyer were debating who was the world’s first professional.

The doctor said, “It must have been a doctor. Who else could have helped with the world’s first surgery of taking a rib from Adam to create Eve, the first woman?”

No, said the rabbi. “It must have been a rabbi, since the Lord needed someone to help preach his message to Adam and the world.”

Wait, said the engineer, “The world was created in six days from nothing. Do you know what a master engineering feat that must have been to create the whole world into an orgnanized, civilized place from utter chaos?”

Yes, but who created the chaos? asked the lawyer…

A man approaches a beautiful woman in a supermarket. “I’ve lost my girlfriend,” he tells her. “Can you stand here and talk to me for a few minutes?” “Sure, but I don’t understand how that would help,” she replies. “Well, every time I talk to a woman with tits like yours, my girlfriend appears out of nowhere.”

A little boy gets on a bus and sits behind the busdriver. As they’re driving along, he sings, “If my daddy was a bull and my mommy was a cow, then I’d be a little bull.” Annoyed, the busdriver tells the little boy to sit down, but the little boy continues, “If my daddy was a stag and my mommy was a deer, I’d be a little stag.” The busdriver, tells the boy to shut up, but the little boy keeps singing, “If my daddy…” The busdriver suddently turns around and asks, “What if your daddy was gay and your mommy was a hooker?” The little boy then begins singing, “If my daddy was gay and my mommy was a hooker, then I’d be a busdriver.”

A man notices a peculiar rash on his chest. The rash continues to get worse and worse, so the man decides to see a doctor. He goes in to the clinic where the staff runs a battery of tests. After several minutes, the doctor comes back in the room and says, “Sir, I’ve got good news and bad news. What would you like first?”

“Well,” says the man, “I can take it. Give me the bad news first.” “The rash you have is going to get worse. It will travel throughout your body, eventually even making it to your internal organs. It is a terminal disease, and my guess is you have 30 days to live.”

“My God!” says the patient. “What’s the good news?!” “Well,” says the doctor, “Did you see that beautiful receptionist, the one with the big boobs and the nice butt? I’m dating her!”