A computer flashed a message to its user:
I give up! I can’t handle it anymore! Let the chips fall where they may!

A blonde’s redhead decides to show her a neat way to trick people — you put your hand on a wall and ask someone to punch it. But before they do, you pull your hand away!

That is a neat trick, thinks the blonde, and tries desperately to remember it, but isn’t all too successful. Despite this, she decides to try it out on her blonde friend.

Okay, she says, “I’m going to put my hand in front of my face…”

A boss tells his new employee, “I’ll give you 8 bucks an hour starting today and in three months, I’ll raise it to 10 bucks an hour. So when would you like to start?”
“In 3 months”.

Due to the credit crunch (aka recession – oooer dirty word), the UK government has decided to cut back spending on the Olympic Stadium and plans have been amended so that the new stadium will look like this…