The teacher brings a statue of Venus into class and asks, “What do you like best about it, class? Let’s start with you, Robert.”
Robert: “The artwork.”
Teacher: “Very good. And you, Peter?”
Peter: “Her tits!”
Teacher: “Peter, get out! Go stand in the hall! And you, Johnny?”
Johnny: “I’m leaving, teacher, I’m leaving…”

Pierre, a brave(?) French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It’s a beautiful day and love is in the air.

Marie leans over to Pierre and says, “Pierre, kiss me!” Pierre grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie’s lips.

“What are you doing, Pierre?” says the startled Marie. “I am Pierre, the brave fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I have red wine!” She smiles and they start kissing.

Things began to heat up a little and Marie says, “Pierre, kiss me lower.” Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and pours it on her breasts.

“Pierre! What are you doing now?” asks the bewildered Marie. “I am Pierre, the brave fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I have white wine!” She giggles and they resume their passionate interlude, and things really steam up.

Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, “Pierre, kiss me much lower!” Pierre rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it on her lap. He then strikes a match and lights the cognac on fire. Marie shrieks and dives into the River Seine. Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms into the air and screams furiously;

“PIERRE, WHAT THE F*** DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?”

Our hero stands and says defiantly, “I am Pierre, the brave fighter pilot! If I go down, I go down in flames!

What is the best time of the day to go to the dentist?

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in 0 gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 C.
The Russians used a pencil.