SAT tests given in Springdale, Arkansas in 2000, to 16-year-old students.

Q. Name the four seasons.
A. Salt, Pepper, Mustard and Vinegar

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q. What is a planet?
A. A body of earth surrounded by sky.

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A. Premature death.

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow.

Q. How are the main parts of the body categorized? (E.g. abdomen)
A. The body consists of three parts – The brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain. The borax contains the heart and lungs. And the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E,I, O and U.

Q. What is the Fibula?
A. A small lie.

Q. What does “varicose” mean?
A. Nearby.

Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

Q. Give the meaning of the term “Caesarian Section”.
A. The caesarian section is a district in Rome.

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.

Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport.

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab wears on his head.

Q. What is a Hindu?
A. It lays eggs

Children | Email to a friend | 464 views

A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamond ring he had ever seen.

He asked her about it.

“This is the Klopman diamond,” she said, “It is beautiful, but there is a terrible curse that goes with it.”

“What’s the curse?” the man asked.

“Mr. Klopman.”

Men & Women | Email to a friend | 315 views

The English teacher’s husband walked in and caught his wife sleeping with a young co-ed. He said, “Why, Susan, I’m surprised.” She bolted upright, pointed her finger and corrected him, “No. I am surprised. You are astonished.”

Men & Women | Email to a friend | 267 views

Two generals, one from the Army, and one from the Air Force, were having a debate with a Navy Admiral about whose soldiers were the bravest.

To prove his point, the Air Force general calls over an airman: “Airman! Climb that flagpole, and once you are at the top, sing ‘Wild Blue Yonder’, and then jump off!”

“YES SIR!” replies the airman. He takes off for the flagpole like a shot, scales up it, sings the anthem, salutes and jumps off, hitting the ground at attention.

The general dismisses him. “Now that’s bravery!” exclaims the general.

“Bravery, nothing,” snorts the Army general. “Get over here, private!”

“YES SIR!!” replies the private.

“Put on full combat gear, load your rucksack with these rocks, scale that flagpole, come to attention, present arms, and sing the National Anthem, salute each of us, and then climb back down, head first.”

“YES SIR!!” replies the private, and completes the task.

“Now that is a brave man! Beat that!!”

They look to the Marine. “Private,” he says.

“YES SIR!!”

“Put on full combat gear. Put these two dogs in your pack. Using only one hand, climb that flagpole. At the top, sing ‘The Halls of Montezuma’, put your knife in your teeth, and dive off, headfirst.”

The private snaps to attention, looks at the general and says, “TO HELL WITH YOU SIR!!”

The general turns to the others and says, “Now THAT’S bravery!”

Military | Email to a friend | 430 views

There was a man who got into a car accident. He was soon rushed to the hospital.
The left side of his body was completely paralyzed.
The doctor said, “He was going to be all right.”

Medical | Email to a friend | 395 views