Clem pulled over the car by the side of the road and showed Jed where he’d first had sex.

It was right down there by that tree. I remember the day plainly. It was a warm summer day. She and I were so much in love. We walked down to the tree and made love for hours, Clem recalled.

That sounds wonderful, said Jed.

Yes. It was okay until I looked up and noticed her mother was standing right there watching us.

Oh my God! What did her mother say when she saw you making love to her daughter?

Baaaaa…

Animals | Email to a friend | 209 views

A policeman is on scene at a terrible accident – body parts everywhere. He is making his notes of where the pieces are and comes across a head. He writes in his notebook: “Head on bullevard” and scratchs out his spelling error. “Head on bouelevard” Nope, doesn’t look right – scratch scratch. “Head on boolevard…” dang it! Scratch scratch. He looks around and sees that no one is looking at him as he kicks the head. “Head on curb.”

Police | Email to a friend | 388 views

Three guys go in for a job interview, all at the same office. The first one goes in for his interview and the interviewer says,

“What’s the first thing you see when you look at me?”

The guy says, “That’s not too hard, you’ve got no ears.”

The interviewer says, “That’s it, get out, you’ll never be seen around here again.”

The second man takes his turn and is asked the same question. The applicant replies, “Uh, you’ve got no ears.”

The interviewer throws the guy out, cursing and yelling that he’ll never get a job with his company.

As the second guy is leaving, the second guy warns the third guy, “Listen man, whatever you do, don’t say he hasn’t got any ears. He’s so touchy with the ear thing.”

“Okay,” said man #3 on his way into the office.

Once inside he is told, “Name the first thing you notice when you look at me.”

The guy answers, “That’s easy, you wear contacts.”

The interviewer was flabbergasted, “How on earth did you know that, son?”

The applicant answered, “What? Are you stupid? You can’t wear glasses, you’ve got no ears!”

Misc | Email to a friend | 274 views

A couple has returned from their honeymoon and it was obvious to everyone that they are not talking to each other. The groom’s best man takes him aside and asks what’s wrong.

“Well,” replied the man “when we had finished making love on the first night, as I got up to go to the bathroom, I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking.”

“Oh, you shouldn’t worry about that too much,” said his friend. “I’m sure your wife will get over it soon enough – she can’t expect you to have been saving yourself all these years!”

The groom nodded gently and said, “I don’t know if I can get over this though: She gave me $20 change!”

Men & Women | Email to a friend | 284 views

Why can’t a blonde dial 911?
She can’t find the eleven.

Blondes | Email to a friend | 336 views