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Elephant and the Ant

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One day, while an elephant was walking through the woods, she got a thorn stuck in her foot. She saw an ant passing and asked him to help her get the thorn out.

The ant asked, “What do I get in return?”

The elephant replied, “If you get it out, I’ll have sex with you.”

So the ant gets busy taking the thorn out. When he finally gets it out he looks up at the elephant and says “OK it’s out, are you ready?”.

The elephant thinks, “Hey, what’s a little ant gonna do anyways?” The ant climbs up and starts to work away. Just then a monkey overhead drops a coconut on the elephant’s head.

“Ouch” screams the elephant, and the ant responds, “Yeah take it all bitch.”

Animals | Email to a friend | 806 views
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Freezing Dog

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Picture Humour | Email to a friend | 656 views
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DOH!

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News & Politics, Picture Humour | Email to a friend | 568 views
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Mary Poppins

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Mary Poppins was travelling home, but due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel for the night. She approached the receptionist and asked for a room for the night.

“Certainly madam”, he replied courteously.

“Is the restaurant open still?” inquired Mary.

“Sorry, no,” came the reply, “but room service is available all night. Would you care to select something from this menu?”

Mary smiled and took the menu and perused it. “Hmm, I would like cauliflower cheese please,” said Mary.

“Certainly madam,” he replied.

“And can I have breakfast in bed?” asked Mary politely.

The receptionist nodded and smiled. “In that case, I would love a couple of poached eggs please,” Mary mused.

After confirming the order, Mary signed in and went up to her room for the night. The night passed uneventfully and next morning Mary came down early to check out.

The same guy was still on the desk. “Morning madam…sleep well?” “Yes, thank you,” Mary replied. “Food to your liking?”

“Well, I have to say the cauliflower cheese was exceptional, I don’t think I have had better. Shame about the eggs tho….they really weren’t that nice at all,” replied Mary truthfully.

“Oh…well, perhaps you could contribute these thoughts to our Guest Comments Book. We are always looking to improve our service and would value your opinion,” said the receptionist.

“Ok I will…thanks!” replied Mary….who then checked out, paused awhile, then scribbled a comment into the book. Waving, she left to continue her journey. Curious, the receptionist picked up the book to see the comment Mary had written. Here it is………

“Supercauliflowercheesebuteggswerequiteatrocious!!!!

Entertainment | Email to a friend | 347 views
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