There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet.

After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says,

“Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?”

The third fellow says “I’ll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees.”

The first two guys were amazed. “What happened then?” they asked. “She said, ‘get out from under the bed and fight like a man’.”

1. Any More Complaints?
   The controller working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a 360 (do a complete circle, usually done to provide spacing between aircraft).
   The pilot of the 727 complained, “Do you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make a 360 in this airplane?”
   Without missing a beat the controller replied, “Roger, give me four thousand dollars worth.”
2. What the…?!
   PSA was following United, taxiing out for departure. PSA called the tower and said “Tower, this is United 586. We’ve got a little problem; go ahead and let PSA go first.” The tower promptly cleared PSA for takeoff before United had a chance to object to the impersonation.
3. Which Exit Did You Say That Was?
   A DC-10 had an exceedingly long landing roll out after landing with his approach speed just a little too high.
   San Jose Tower: “American 751 Heavy, turn right at the end if able. If not able, take the Guadalupe exit off of Highway 101 back to the airport.”
4. Mmmm-mmm, Good!
   Tower: “Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7.”
   Eastern 702: “Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure…by the way, as we lifted off, we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway.”
   Tower: “Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7…did you copy the report from Eastern?”
   Continental 635: “Continental 635, cleared for takeoff…and yes, we copied Eastern and we’ve already notified our caterers.”
5. No, That’s not what I Said!
   O’Hare Approach Control: “United 329, traffic is a Fokker, one o’clock, 3 miles, eastbound.”
   United 329: “Approach, I’ve always wanted to say this… I’ve got that Fokker in sight.”

A guy is taking a walk and sees a frog on the side of the road. As he comes closer, the frog starts to talk. ‘Kiss me and I will turn into a princess.’ The guy picks the frog up and puts it in his pocket. The frog starts shouting, ‘Hey! Didn’t you hear me? I’m a Princess. Just kiss me and I will be yours.’ The guy takes the frog out of his pocket and smiles at it and puts it backin his pocket. The frog is really frustrated. ‘I don’t get it. Why won’t you kiss me? I will turn into a beautiful princess and do anything you ask.’ The guy says, ‘Look, I’m a computer geek. I don’t have time for girls. But a talking frog is really cool!’