A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, “DAMN! That’s the ugliest f****n’ baby I’ve EVER seen!”

In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. She fumed for a few stops and started getting really worked up. The man seated next to her sensed she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.

“The bus driver insulted me!” she fumed.

The man sympathized and said, “Hey! He’s a public servant and he shouldn’t say things to insult the passengers.”

“You’re right!” she said. “I think I’ll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind.”

“That’s a good idea,” the man said. “Here, let me hold your monkey!”

A blind man and his seeing eye dog walked into a store. When he gets in, he starts swinging his dog around. Upset by this, the manager of the store demanded to know what he was doing. The blind man calmly replied, “I’m just lookin’ around.”

A man was visiting Spain and passed by a restaurant in Madrid after a bullfight. They were advertising that they served the balls of the bull who lost the bullfight. Intrigued, the man went inside, only to find that where was a six-week waiting list to get to eat the loser’s balls. So he signed up and came back six weeks later. When he got his meal, there were two teeny, teeny balls on his plate. He called the waiter over to complain.

I’ve waited six weeks for bull balls. What are these?

Sir, the waiter said, “the bull doesn’t always lose.”