Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room.
Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy.
Daisy asked, “Do you have a condom?”
Donald frowned and said “No.”
Daisy told Donald that if he didn’t get a condom they could not have sex.
“Maybe they sell them at the front desk,” she suggested.
So Donald went down to the lobby and asked the hotel clerk if they had condoms.
“Yes, we do,” the clerk said, and pulled one out from under the counter and gave it to Donald.
The clerk asked, “Would you like me to put that on your bill?”
“No!” Donald yelled. “What kind of a pervert do you think I am?”

A darling little girl walks into a pet shop and asks with the sweetest little lisp: “Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?”

The shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he’s on her level, and asks:

“Do you want a wittle white wabby? Or a soft and fuwwy black wabby? Or maybe one like that cute wittle brown wabby over there?”

The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward, and, in a quiet whispy, little voice says: “I don’t fink my pyfon weally gives a f*** what colour it is.”

What’s the difference between a sports car and a porcupine?
A porcupine has pricks on the outside!