Why was former President Clinton so interested in the events in the Middle East?

Because he thought the Gaza Strip is a topless bar!

News & Politics | Email to a friend | 391 views

As a Newcastle trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says, “Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!”
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.

When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again,
the trucker lowers the window. As if they’ve never spoken, the blonde says brightly, “Hi,my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!”
Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says, “Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!”

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light.
When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says, “Hi, my name is Kevin, its winter in Newcastle, and I’m driving a fu*king Gritter!!!!!

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An IT joke ….

Cognizant Method:
. hire a lion…
. ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.
. give him gobi 65 to eat again and again.
. hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit
. give them same gobi 65 to eat
. hire 200 more……. and more …….

TCS method:
. hire a lion
. give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary
. lion dies of hunger and frustration

Kanbay Method :
. Hire a Cat; give him a salary of a Lion…
. Give him work of 3 Lions
. Tell him to work late and even on weekends…
. No time for food and family, automatically die

Infy method:
. hire a lion and ask him to meow like a cat ..
. he will die eventually of frustration…

IBM’s method:
. hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour …
. he dies of unemployment…

Syntel Method:-
. Hire a Cat …
. assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and make sure that he never reaches onsite.
. Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion….

MBT method:
. hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn’t score > 60% he will lose the job.
. lion dies of the strain?

i-Flex method:
. hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes alive he will get band movement (promotion)
. holy cow dies in fear of the real lion

COSL Method:
. hire a lion ..
. tell him to merge with Goats (polaris software) and reduce his allowance…
. lion dies from fear that tomorrow he might become a goat….

Polaris Method :
. hire ..Sorry….purchase a lion(COSL) …
. change his timings…(instead of 9 AM …change it to 8:30 AM )
. cut down his allowance (coupons etc)
. lion dies from fear of becoming CAT…..

Silverline Method:
. hire a lion, declare a scandal and dont pay him…
. he dies of hunger…

Quinnox method:
. hire the lion. either give him no work or ask for a premature delivery.
. Lion either dies of boredom or intense physical & mental activity…

Patni method:
. hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat…
. the lion dies before joining….

Nucsoft method:
. hire a lion,give him job of grass eating (IBBS Support)..
. the lion dies from lack of eating meat…

Satyam method:
. hire a lion, give him net access..
. no work..
. and deport him to Chennai centre…
. no water..
. no electricity..
. no hindi speaking ppl…
. lion dies in oblivion……

Wipro method:
. hire a lion…
. give him lots of work…
. transfer him to Wipro Lights division..
. lion dies due to Lightness…

Mastek method:
. hire a lion…
. ask him to align himself with anything and everything…
. ask him to fill complicated competency forms…
. differ increments and pay him salary of a cat…
. lion dies due to fear of getting mis-aligned or starvation…

Caritor Method:
. hire a lion…
. ask him to stay at work..
. give him vegetables to eat…
. hire 10 more lions
. give them vegetables to eat
. hire 20 more

Infotech Method:
. Hire a lion at CAT salary
. Tie with a Belt
. Request lion to wait until belt breaks
. Send Lion to US/UK
. Put One more Belt
. Lion Runs away(Abscond) in fear of death.

Technology | Email to a friend | 496 views